Letter to Sibley Hospital for Sam's first birthday

This week I took Sam to visit Sibley hospital where he was born and spent the first 3 weeks of his life. We were able to see Rebecca, the wonderful nurse who delivered Sam, and some of the doctors/nurses in the NICU who were SO excited to see him. We brought them cupcakes, pictures, and a letter updating them on Sam's life (since we wouldn't get to see all of our favorite people).

Here's the letter we sent:

Dear Sibley Friends,

It is hard to believe that 1 year ago we were patients at Sibley delivering our precious baby Samuel Geller-Cheney at 32 weeks. His birthday is this week (March 24th) and we wanted to take this opportunity to once again thank you for all that you did to ensure that despite his early arrival, he would have every possible chance for a healthy and happy life.

We are so delighted to report back to you that as he turns one year old, he is absolutely amazing and completely caught up on all milestones (and even ahead on a few). He weighs 22 pounds and loves to eat table food (eats like a horse!). He is exceptionally happy and social – his babysitter calls him Mr. Sunshine. He smiles and laughs all day long at everything. He loves to share (especially giving food to the dog), wave, give high five, stick out his tongue on command, fall down at the end of Ring Around the Rosy, and so much more. He has two words that he uses intentionally (“hi” and “dog”) and is very communicative with his other sounds and gesture.

His favorite activity is exploring everything around him – his favorite toys include opening and shutting doors/cabinets, the dishwasher, Tupperware, the dog’s water bowl (he loves to splash and pour the water on his head), toilet paper, watching his shadow in the sun, and the dog. He is a very proficient crawler and cruises around holding onto furniture. He loves his push toy and is beginning to take a few unsteady steps. He has five teeth and 2 more are breaking through (which he is not enjoying).

We are continually amazed by his endless smiles and sunny disposition. He is an amazing sleeper and an overall easygoing baby. He is very healthy (we survived the winter with only a few minor colds!) and his reflux is completely gone!

We thought you would enjoy some pictures of Sam from the past year. He brings so much joy to our lives. We will be eternally grateful for everything you did to help with his challenging beginning. Your thoughtfulness, attentiveness, kindness, care, love, compassion, and support touched our hearts and our lives. We will never forget the amazing gift that you gave to our baby boy and to our family.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all that you did for our family and for what you do every day!

We hope that you all are doing well. We think of you often.

Best,
Rebecca Geller, Brad Cheney, & Samuel Geller-Cheney

P.S. – We hope that you enjoy the cupcakes!

Reflecting back on Sam's first birthday

This time last year was the most wonderful and scariest day of my life. I'll never forget the sentenced I uttered to Brad on that lazy Saturday morning when I first realized that something strange was going on and I said "Brad, I think my water might be leaking." I read my pregnancy book, called my mom, laid down in bed flat on my back, and then finally called my ob/gyn. He calmly said, why don't you come on in and we'll check things out.

We didn't even pack a bag - I expected the doctor to say that I needed to be on bed rest and send me home. My baby shower was supposed to be the next day, the nursery was totally empty, we had nothing ready (especially ourselves). Our childbirth class was supposed to be the following week (even though I wanted to do it earlier and the hospital wouldn't let me! Argh!) And yet, after examining me, Dr. Footer said, "your water has broken, you will not be able to leave the hospital until the baby is born - in fact, you won't be able to sit up until the baby is born."

I spent the next 3 days having contractions 6-10 minutes apart, praying that we would make it past 48 hours (which is the requisite time needed for the steroids to take its full effect and speed up the development of a premie's lungs). 48 hours came and went. The steroids were in, whew! Friends and family, came and went. The hours ticked by. One minute I just wanted to be done with this prolonged process and deliver the baby already - and the next minute I wanted to keep him in as long as possible. I was filled with hope, fear, excitement, confusion, and anxiety. What would he look like? Would he be able to breathe on his own? How little would he be at 32 weeks? Will he be healthy? Will he have any long-term developmental or cognitive problems? On day 3, it became clear that we couldn't hold off delivery any longer - he was ready to greet the world!

He was small (4 pounds 8 oz, 18.5 inches long) but breathing on his own and healthy - no major problems except being early. I got to see him quickly before they took him to the NICU and then Brad was able to spend time with him. The first time I got to go back to the NICU, Brad had to point him out to me because I didn't know which one he was. Unbelievable - I didn't know which one was my child. Crazy to think about it like that. For the first week or so, I certainly loved him, but as i said to my mom - I didn't know him yet. We felt like visitors, not his parents. Every night we sang the Shema, V'havta, and "Good Night Sweetheart, it's time to go" and cried when we left after spending 12 hours/day in the hospital.

We also spent some time during those 3 weeks getting ready for his arrival home - my wonderful friends gave me the baby shower gifts so we would have a carseat to bring him home in and all of the other stuff. But it was a horrible 3 weeks. One of the lactation consultants helped me process everything and she helped me realize that I needed to mourn the loss of the rest of my pregnancy. I hadn't thought about it in that perspective, but she was right. I was robbed of a significant part of my pregnancy. As much as it may be unpleasant and uncomfortable at the end of 9 months, it's part of the process that I didn't experience and had expected to go through. I expected to be pregnant on my birthday 2 weeks later and at Passover. I realized that I needed to process what had happened before I could move on.

After an agonizing 3 week stay in the NICU with the most spectacular NICU team in the world - Sam finally came home and we began to get used to the idea of being a family with a baby. I still struggle to understand why he came early. Did I eat something I shouldn't have eaten? Was I not taking it easy? Was I working too hard and not getting enough rest? Why did this happen?

My doctor has assured me time and time again that there is nothing I could have done differently and they don't know why he came early. I had seen my doctor 4 days before I went into labor and everything was perfectly normal - sometimes these things just happen and there's no explanation. I hate that answer. I hate not knowing why and not being able to fix it for a future pregnancy. Even though I know I shouldn't, part of me will always wonder why...

All of this is a way for me to truly appreciate the miracle that is Sam and how incredibly grateful I feel on this day, March 24, 2010 - his 1st birthday. He is absolutely amazing and a blessing. He is inquisitive and curious about everything. He is happy, smiley, and laughs all day long. He is energetic and strong. He is social, engaging, and loves to share. He loves to explore and get into everything. He is cuddly and affectionate. He is sweet and easygoing. He is determined and stubborn (wonder where he gets that one from). He has strong likes and dislikes. After a year of being his mommy, I not only love him - but I know him better than anyone in the world and I am head over heels in love with him.

Happy birthday Sam, you are the best thing to ever happen to me!