Birth Plans

A lot of my mommy friends have asked me over the past few months about my birth plan.  With both Sam and this pregnancy, I've given a lot of thought to the idea of birth plans and how I feel about birth plans.

I have many friends who have developed very elaborate birth plans that spread the gamet - at-home births in a bed or in water, at a birthing center with a midwife, giving birth in a hospital with a doula without any pain medication, giving birth in a hospital with an epidural, a planned c-section, etc.   For some of my friends, the actual process of giving birth to their children is one of the most important experiences in their lives.  They want to experience and remember every aspect of this amazing journey and the miracle of life.  They physically write very specific birth plans in great detail. 

As most of you know, I'm a planner and like to plan things in detail well in advance - which is why I am as surprised as anyone that when it comes to birthing my children, I have not adopted the birth plan mentality.  Let me be clear - I am NOT knocking anyone's birth plan or birth choices.  It is a very personal decision and if my friends are happy, I am happy for them. 

I trust my obstetrician immensely and truly credit him for helping to bring Sam into this world and enabling him to be the healthy, intelligent, and amazing child he is - despite his early arrival at 32 weeks. I have done tons of research about epidurals and have concluded that I am perfectly comfortable with the decision to have an epidural. I had an epidural with Sam and do not regret that decision at all.


My doctor has said that he will do whatever I want - pain meds or no pain meds; vaginal delivery or c-section, etc. Although I do not want to have a c-section and have no plan on having a c-section, I am open to the idea if it is medically necessary. I'd prefer to not have a c-section since the recovery time is signficantly worse, but if there's anything I've learned as a mom - it is to expect the unexpected.

When I was pregnant with Sam, we first discussed the idea of a birth plan with my ob.  He said that I should keep in mind that once the hospital reads on my registration form that I'm a lawyer that they will want to follow the birth plan to a T - which I thought was hilarious. 

I am at the stage in my life when an inordinate number of my friends are pregnant.  Seriously, I think I currently know between 30-40 women who are pregnant right now.  I am intrigued by their various birth plans and have been amazed to discover that there is no pattern among my friends.  I would have originally thought that my liberal crunchy friends would be the only ones having at-home births with a midwife, but alas, I have conservative friends who have made this choice too.  The decision has nothing to do with one's politics, religion, education, career, etc.  Most of my friends who have chosen to have children without pain medication are very passionate about their birth choice and birth plan.  My sister-in-law is a midwife and one of the most passionate people I have ever met about birthing babies. 

I've tried to wrap my head around the birth plan idea and have finally concluded that it's just not something I'm passionate about.  I have strong feelings and am passionate about many things.  I am passionate about politics, campaigns, elections, and being a Democrat.  I am passionate about Israel and Judaism.  I am passionate about equality for women and reproductive rights.  I am passionate about community service, social action, and giving back.  I am passionate about my family and friends.  I am passionate about enjoying every day with Sam and bringing joy and happiness to his life.  I am passionate about travelling and exploring other cultures (I've been to 30+ countries).  I am passionate about food.  I am passionate about being outside (in warm, sunny weather!) and truly believe that sunshine (while wearing sunscreen) nourishes my soul. 

But there are some things that I'm just not passionate about - and the process of actually birthing my child is one of them.  I am passionate about being a mom and am incredibly excited to meet my new little boy and love him and raise him - I'm just not that excited about the actual birthing process. I've gone through the childbirth education class and even watched a video of an actual birth to try to better grasp the wonder behind childbirth.  But for me, I still feel that the birthing process is a means to an end - a means of me bringing a life into the world and having another amazing little boy.  My birth experience with Sam was quite unusual due to his early arrival, but the nurses and doctors did everything possible to make it as much of a positive experience as possible given the circumstances.

My birth plan is more of a mindset than an actual plan.  My husband, doctor, and I have discussed what we hope for, but are fully aware of the fact that things may change during the labor - and that's ok.  Our  priority is to make sure that baby boy #2 is healthy and that's all I need from my birth plan. 

In a way, it is almost freeing to decide that it is ok to NOT have a detailed birth plan. The one thing I plan to change from my birth with Sam is to bring some pictures of Glacier National Park to look at as focus points during labor.  My ob has a picture of Glacier National Park, Montana taped to the ceiling of his exam room directly above the exam table - so when patients are laying on their backs during the exam, they can look at the picture and relax.

This Glacier Park picture has taken on significant meaning to me over the years and I relax by imagining myself sitting on the edge of the lake with my toes dangling in the water, staring out at the gorgeous snow-capped mountains, tossing stones into the water, feeling the warm sun on my face, and the gentle breeze blowing my hair. I imagine the sounds of the water lapping at the shore, fish jumping out of the water, the wind rustling the leaves, and squirrels running in the woods.   I imagine peace, quiet, and serenity at this lake.

I have never been to Glacier National Park.  I am not even a "lake person" (although Brad is), hands down I prefer the ocean and beach as a vacation rather than a lake.  But, I've come to associate pictures the scenic pictures of Glacier National Park with relaxation during a medical procedure.  So, here are a few of the pictures I plan to print and bring with me for the birth of baby boy #2.

So, there you have it - this is my birth plan! We will be positive, flexible, relaxed, and determined to have a healthy baby boy.