**DISCLAIMER** if you do not want to read about potty issues or bodily functions (which probably applies to most people without young children), do NOT read this blog. Thanks! :)
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I'm looking for advice on potty training - mostly on two topics. #1) How did you know that your child was ready to be potty trained? #2) What's the best way to potty train a child? Anything different for boys?
Let me first say that I am NOT in a rush to potty train Sam. We have had so much change in our lives over the last 2 months with the new baby, so I am not exactly looking to take on this new challenge of potty training Sam. Diapers seem easier right now since I already have to carry a diaper bag with me everywhere I go for Noah.
However, over the past few weeks Sam has done a number of things that have practically shouted to me that he is ready to be potty trained so I'm beginning to wonder if we should embark on this new challenge? Personally, I think he's a bit young for this, he JUST turned two on March 24th. I was planning on potty training late in the summer when he's closer to 2.5. But...he seems to have other plans.
We bought a toddler potty about a month ago and every night before bath time he practices sitting on the potty before bath time. Occasionally he pees on the potty and we get very excited and cheer and he helps us dump the potty into the big toilet and he loves to flush the toilet. He also loves to put toilet paper in the toilet - I don't think he has any idea what toilet paper is actually for, but whatever.
Anyway, so this past weekend, my Mom and I did the normal pre-bath potty routine and he sat on the toddler potty, peed, we cheered, he stood up and dumped the pee into the big toilet, flushed - and repeated the entire process...over and over again. VERY intentionally, he was controlling when he was peeing and would sit on the toddler potty and pee and then excitedly flush it down the big toilet, over and over again. We repeated this cycle about 8 or 9 times.
Then, he told us that he needed to poop. So he sat on the toddler potty and pooped! We cheered and then he flushed it into the big toilet. He then said he had to poop again, so he sat on the toddler potty and pooped again! He then wanted to try to keep peeing so he started to squeeze himself trying to make himself pee some more (does this actually work?? I have no idea!). This process of peeing on the potty 10 times in a row has now become part of our nightly routine which makes me think he knows when he needs to go and is able to control when/where he goes. Last night he peed about 14 times in a row.
On Sunday he woke up from a nap and was playing in his crib. I heard him saying "poo poo" on the monitor and then I watched him on the video monitor. He took off his pants and then took off his diaper too - which is when I went into his room. As I opened the door, he practically shouted "Mommy, I went poo poo" and handed me his very full dirty diaper with the poop in it. He didn't make a mess or anything, he just didn't want to be wearing the dirty diaper anymore!
Soooo, it seems like he's telling me that he's ready to be potty trained, right? I'm thinking we will just take an entire weekend in early June to go cold turkey from diapers to underwear. I've been advised to dress him in underwear and use the pull-ups diaper OVER the underwear so that he feels wet from the underwear but it won't make a huge mess when he has accidents. Anyone have thoughts on this?
We also have a big book of stickers that I plan to use as rewards for properly using the potty.
I'm also looking for advice about what to do during naptime and night time. Do we put a diaper on him during sleeping times? Or just stick with the underwear and he'll learn?
Thanks in advance for your advice and suggestions, I appreciate it!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Adjusting to Life with Two Kiddos
I'm hoping to return to my blog once again now that I'm beginning to figure out how to care for a 2 year old and a newborn without losing my mind. We are amazingly thankful that Noah is such a terrific sleeper. For the past week he has started sleeping through the night pretty consistently - and I actually feel a bit like a normal person again! Last night I fed Noah at 930pm, I went to sleep by 11pm and Noah didn't wake up again until 545am! I actually can get through the day without feeling like a sleep-deprived zombie! We are so so grateful that our 7 week old baby is such a terrific sleeper!
However, then there are times when Sam is a bit overly eager to be around Noah and be affectionate. He loves to gently pat his head but every now and then he tries to squeeze his head so we are working to redirect Sam's kisses to Noah's legs and feet. I'm regularly entertained by the things I have to say to Sam - like, "Sam, please do not lick your brother's head."
Most of our challenges with Sam are not really related to his new role as a brother, but more due to the fact that he is dealing with some classic 2 year old challenges. He does not like to share and wants to do everything himself. He wants to push Noah's stroller by himself - so we work on "sharing" the stroller pushing so that he can "help" me with the stroller. He wants to carry Noah's carseat by himself, so again - we "share" carrying the carseat.
Sam is constantly pushing boundaries and trying to figure out exactly where the line is - what is he allowed to do and what is he not allowed to do? We try to choose our battles wisely, but sometimes there's just no reasoning with a 2 year old. The other day he threw a tantrum because Mommy couldn't make it rain any more! We drove through a strong rain storm which he loved, but when it stopped raining he kept asking me "Mommy, more rain please! More rain please!" Sorry Sam, but Mommy is not Mother Nature. He has endless energy and is speaking in sentences now. We can understand pretty much everything he says and he surprises us with new words regularly. Some of his new words include "motorcycle, computer, helicopter, firetruck, parachute, umbrella, and school bus." He is at such a fun stage that is equally sweet/gratifying - and challenging/frustrating.
Noah is a pretty easygoing baby and so sweet. He began rolling over at 3 weeks old and is very strong physically! He loves to eat and doesn't know when to stop eating, so we're learning to regulate that so we have less spit up. He sleeps through VERY loud noise (Sam is not exactly quiet). He loves to smile, coo, and he laughed for the first time this weekend!
He tracks objects beautifully and turns his head to look for me when he hears my voice. He is 10 pounds now, very cuddly, and pretty easy to comfort. He also likes to play on his playmat and bat at his toys. He enjoys staring at himself in a mirror and reaching for his image.
Life is never dull in our house, that's for sure. Brad and I are constantly on our toes and exhausted at the end of the day. We are LOVING the gorgeous May weather and spend a lot of time playing outside as a new family of 4! We are adjusting to life with 2 young children, but are so grateful to have such sweet, healthy, and happy boys. I hope to start blogging more regularly but wanted to post a small update about what we've been up to and how our boys are doing.
Sam is adjusting pretty well to being a big brother. He LOVE LOVE LOVES Noah. He wants to help us with everything. He pulls up a chair next to the changing table to help us change Noah's diaper. He has learned to gently pat Noah's back to help burp him. We pull up a stool next to the kitchen sink so he can help bathe Noah in the baby tub in the sink. He takes dirty burp cloths and puts them into the laundry hamper. For a 2 year old, he's a pretty fantastic helper.
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| Sam helping Brad bathe Noah |
However, then there are times when Sam is a bit overly eager to be around Noah and be affectionate. He loves to gently pat his head but every now and then he tries to squeeze his head so we are working to redirect Sam's kisses to Noah's legs and feet. I'm regularly entertained by the things I have to say to Sam - like, "Sam, please do not lick your brother's head."
Most of our challenges with Sam are not really related to his new role as a brother, but more due to the fact that he is dealing with some classic 2 year old challenges. He does not like to share and wants to do everything himself. He wants to push Noah's stroller by himself - so we work on "sharing" the stroller pushing so that he can "help" me with the stroller. He wants to carry Noah's carseat by himself, so again - we "share" carrying the carseat.
Sam is constantly pushing boundaries and trying to figure out exactly where the line is - what is he allowed to do and what is he not allowed to do? We try to choose our battles wisely, but sometimes there's just no reasoning with a 2 year old. The other day he threw a tantrum because Mommy couldn't make it rain any more! We drove through a strong rain storm which he loved, but when it stopped raining he kept asking me "Mommy, more rain please! More rain please!" Sorry Sam, but Mommy is not Mother Nature. He has endless energy and is speaking in sentences now. We can understand pretty much everything he says and he surprises us with new words regularly. Some of his new words include "motorcycle, computer, helicopter, firetruck, parachute, umbrella, and school bus." He is at such a fun stage that is equally sweet/gratifying - and challenging/frustrating.
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| Sweet Sam swinging in the sun! (Yes, I'm a poet, haha!) |
Noah is a pretty easygoing baby and so sweet. He began rolling over at 3 weeks old and is very strong physically! He loves to eat and doesn't know when to stop eating, so we're learning to regulate that so we have less spit up. He sleeps through VERY loud noise (Sam is not exactly quiet). He loves to smile, coo, and he laughed for the first time this weekend!
He tracks objects beautifully and turns his head to look for me when he hears my voice. He is 10 pounds now, very cuddly, and pretty easy to comfort. He also likes to play on his playmat and bat at his toys. He enjoys staring at himself in a mirror and reaching for his image.
Life is never dull in our house, that's for sure. Brad and I are constantly on our toes and exhausted at the end of the day. We are LOVING the gorgeous May weather and spend a lot of time playing outside as a new family of 4! We are adjusting to life with 2 young children, but are so grateful to have such sweet, healthy, and happy boys. I hope to start blogging more regularly but wanted to post a small update about what we've been up to and how our boys are doing.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Birth Story of Noah Daniel Geller-Cheney
As I'm sure you all know by now, Brad and I welcomed our beautiful baby boy into the world on March 26, 2011. Noah Daniel Geller-Cheney was born at 7:25pm. He weighed 6 lb, 12 oz, and was 19.5 inches long. He was completely full term - my due date was March 28th. Here's a picture of Noah on his first day:
Many people have asked me about Noah's exciting birth story and our friends have been so entertained by the drama around his birth, so I wanted to share it with all of my blog readers.
2:00pm: On Saturday March 26th, I began to have contractions around 2pm - but they weren't terribly painful and they were about 30 minutes apart. This had become very frequent over the past week so I honestly didn't think much of it. Pretty much every day I had contractions for a few hours and then they would go away. I had been 2cm dilated for 2.5 weeks at this point. I was scheduled to be induced on Tuesday March 29th since baby boy seemed quite content on staying put.
4:00pm: At my baby shower, my neighbor gave me a gift certificate to get my nails done at a salon down the road, so I went to get my nails done. The contractions were still about 20-30 minutes apart for 2 hours, but I still didn't think much of it. Brad took Sam to the park and I called him from the car on my way to the salon to let him know that I was having another round of contractions - but I didn't think much of it, I just wanted to let him know something might be up. I had called him with this "something might be up" feeling at least 5 times in the past week, so again - neither one of us really thought something was really happening.
4:15pm: I arrived at the nail salon chatting on the phone with my mom while I waited for my appointment. I had a contraction at 4pm and again at 4:15pm which were the closest they'd been all afternoon. I told her that I was having contractions every 20-30 minutes or so, but again - I didn't think much was happening. I was called back for my manicure/pedicure.
4:18pm: Another contraction. I wasn't even convinced it was a contraction, but I pulled out my iphone and began to record the contractions on my "contraction timer" app (which is truly an awesome app!). As the mani/pedi continued, I continued having contractions but they're not overly painful and I'm not terribly worried - I just keep recording them on my iphone and am not really paying attention to how frequent they are.
4:45pm: I look at the history of the contractions on my phone and all of a sudden I realized that they have consistently been 2-3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute in duration, for 30 minutes...and becoming increasingly painful. Maybe this is the real thing? I called Brad and told him that I think this might be it, he needs to call my brother and have him come to the house to watch Sam. Brad starts to ask questions to figure out some logistics and I instruct him to "FIGURE IT OUT." I wasn't sure if I'd drive home and meet him at the house or if he should come pick me up at the salon which was on the way to the hospital - he should just figure it out. This should have been the first real sign that this was real - because I am always the one who obsesses about figuring out logistics! It is very NOT like me to tell Brad to "figure it out!"
Here's what's happening from Brad's perspective at this time...
Brad at 4:45pm: Becca tells me that it's baby time and I should "figure it out." I start getting the last minute overnight bag items together and pulling together stuff for Sam. Becca's brother David is on his way from Arlington but won't be at our house for another 20-30 minutes but I'm not sure if Rebecca is going to come home first and David will arrive in time or if I need to bring Sam to our neighbor's house to watch him until David arrives.
But, I don't know if Becca plans to drive home or if I should get her from the salon. So, I call her cell phone...over and over and over again. She's NOT ANSWERING! She's never been to this salon before and I have no idea where it is or the name of the salon! Finally, I start googling salons in our area and calling them asking "Hi, I'm trying to find my wife - do you have a pregnant woman there in labor? No? Ok, thanks." Terrific. Finally I figure out which salon she's at - she's STILL NOT ANSWERING.
Brad at 5:10pm: Becca calls me again and says "Where are you? We need to leave now! Why aren't you here yet." I reply "Yes honey, I'm on my way" while I think to myself "Um, you said to figure it out, not come get you..."
Brad at 5:15pm: I bring Sam to the neighbor's and basically say "Becca's in labor, can you watch Sam? Here's some food for him and the diaper bag. He has a dirty diaper. My brother-in-law will be here in a few minutes to get Sam. Hey Sam, look there's the dog - go play with her!"
5:05pm: Back to my perspective - by the end of the mani/pedi, I realize I'm in full-blown labor and contractions are 90 seconds - 2 minutes apart. HOLY CRAP. After waiting for my fingernails to dry (of course!), I pick up my phone to call Brad and discover that I have about 97 missed calls from him. Oops! My phone was in my purse on silent and I wasn't answering it because I was having my nails done!
5:10pm: I call Brad and in a labor-induced panic, I practically shout at him again "WHERE ARE YOU!?!? WHY AREN'T YOU HERE YET?!" He's on his way thank goodness - but we realize that no one has called the doctor to let him know we're on the way! Crap. I page the ob and let him know that this baby is coming fast and furious.
5:25pm: Brad picks me up and we drive to Sibley hospital which is in northwest DC - a 40 minute drive from our house! YIKES! Brad doesn't want to take the HOV lanes because he's worried we're not going to make it to the hospital and if he's on HOV, he won't be able to get off if we need to get to a closer hospital. Again, I yell at him - GET ON HOV AND GET ME TO SIBLEY!
Of course we have to drive through Cherry Blossom tourist nonsense - a few tourists dared to try to cross the street in front of us and I informed Brad that under NO circumstances was he stopping to allow pedestrians to cross the road in front of us!
6:05pm: We arrive at the hospital and my contractions are now 30-60 seconds apart and lasting 1-2 minutes. It's hard to tell when one starts and ends. YIKES! I cannot walk. We feel like we're in a sitcom, Brad is the classic father yelling at the registration nurse "My wife is in labor, I need a wheelchair!" He wheels me in and the registration nurse asks if my water has broken (which it hasn't) and tries to get me to sit down in the waiting room to fill out the paperwork. I (not so politely) informed her that I had filled out and faxed in all of my registration forms and insurance information several weeks ago and they should have all of that information on file - and we are going straight upstairs to Labor &; Delivery!!!
6:25pm: I'm in a room, in a hospital gown and they draw my blood to make sure I don't have any infections, etc and I can get an epidurral. It takes 15 minutes for the blood results to come back before I can get an epidurral. Contractions are now 30 seconds apart and I'm already 5cm dilated. I am practically counting the 15 minutes by the seconds, waiting for the results so that they can start the epidural!
6:35pm: My water breaks.
6:42: Bloodwork is back, everything is fine - YAY!!! I'm practically begging for the epidural.
6:50: Anesthesiologist arrives and begins to put in the epidural. I have never been so happy to see a doctor in my life. Unfortunately, I'm now in the final stages of labor (10cm!) and the contractions are running into each other. It's hard to get the epidural in.
7:05: Epidural is in!!! They said it will take 15 minutes to take full effect....again, I'm counting the seconds.
7:15pm: Epidural is BARELY taking effect. Anesthesiologist has turned up the dosage as high as it can go - and it's not really doing much...which apparently is what happens when the epidural is administered at 10cm. Terrific.
7:20pm: Time to push!
7:23pm: OB says, ok, stop pushing - the head is out! I'm stunned and say "REALLY!?!?"
7:25pm: Noah Daniel Geller-Cheney is born!
I call my parents and brother and tell them "he's here!" They all are shocked and say "who's here?" They can't believe that the baby was born so fast. Neither can we! The nurse said to me that in the 8 years she's been delivering babies, my delivery was one of the fastest she's ever seen. She joked that if we have another baby, we might want to get to the hospital sooner. No kidding!
With Sam, I was in labor for 3 days. With Noah, I was in labor for 3 hours! What a whirlwind 3 hours!
We are so grateful for the amazing medical team who delivered Noah. I'll do another blogpost on our stay at Sibley - but for now, I hope that you enjoy reading about Noah's exciting arrival into the world!
Many people have asked me about Noah's exciting birth story and our friends have been so entertained by the drama around his birth, so I wanted to share it with all of my blog readers.
2:00pm: On Saturday March 26th, I began to have contractions around 2pm - but they weren't terribly painful and they were about 30 minutes apart. This had become very frequent over the past week so I honestly didn't think much of it. Pretty much every day I had contractions for a few hours and then they would go away. I had been 2cm dilated for 2.5 weeks at this point. I was scheduled to be induced on Tuesday March 29th since baby boy seemed quite content on staying put.
4:00pm: At my baby shower, my neighbor gave me a gift certificate to get my nails done at a salon down the road, so I went to get my nails done. The contractions were still about 20-30 minutes apart for 2 hours, but I still didn't think much of it. Brad took Sam to the park and I called him from the car on my way to the salon to let him know that I was having another round of contractions - but I didn't think much of it, I just wanted to let him know something might be up. I had called him with this "something might be up" feeling at least 5 times in the past week, so again - neither one of us really thought something was really happening.
4:15pm: I arrived at the nail salon chatting on the phone with my mom while I waited for my appointment. I had a contraction at 4pm and again at 4:15pm which were the closest they'd been all afternoon. I told her that I was having contractions every 20-30 minutes or so, but again - I didn't think much was happening. I was called back for my manicure/pedicure.
4:18pm: Another contraction. I wasn't even convinced it was a contraction, but I pulled out my iphone and began to record the contractions on my "contraction timer" app (which is truly an awesome app!). As the mani/pedi continued, I continued having contractions but they're not overly painful and I'm not terribly worried - I just keep recording them on my iphone and am not really paying attention to how frequent they are.
4:45pm: I look at the history of the contractions on my phone and all of a sudden I realized that they have consistently been 2-3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute in duration, for 30 minutes...and becoming increasingly painful. Maybe this is the real thing? I called Brad and told him that I think this might be it, he needs to call my brother and have him come to the house to watch Sam. Brad starts to ask questions to figure out some logistics and I instruct him to "FIGURE IT OUT." I wasn't sure if I'd drive home and meet him at the house or if he should come pick me up at the salon which was on the way to the hospital - he should just figure it out. This should have been the first real sign that this was real - because I am always the one who obsesses about figuring out logistics! It is very NOT like me to tell Brad to "figure it out!"
Here's what's happening from Brad's perspective at this time...
Brad at 4:45pm: Becca tells me that it's baby time and I should "figure it out." I start getting the last minute overnight bag items together and pulling together stuff for Sam. Becca's brother David is on his way from Arlington but won't be at our house for another 20-30 minutes but I'm not sure if Rebecca is going to come home first and David will arrive in time or if I need to bring Sam to our neighbor's house to watch him until David arrives.
But, I don't know if Becca plans to drive home or if I should get her from the salon. So, I call her cell phone...over and over and over again. She's NOT ANSWERING! She's never been to this salon before and I have no idea where it is or the name of the salon! Finally, I start googling salons in our area and calling them asking "Hi, I'm trying to find my wife - do you have a pregnant woman there in labor? No? Ok, thanks." Terrific. Finally I figure out which salon she's at - she's STILL NOT ANSWERING.
Brad at 5:10pm: Becca calls me again and says "Where are you? We need to leave now! Why aren't you here yet." I reply "Yes honey, I'm on my way" while I think to myself "Um, you said to figure it out, not come get you..."
Brad at 5:15pm: I bring Sam to the neighbor's and basically say "Becca's in labor, can you watch Sam? Here's some food for him and the diaper bag. He has a dirty diaper. My brother-in-law will be here in a few minutes to get Sam. Hey Sam, look there's the dog - go play with her!"
5:05pm: Back to my perspective - by the end of the mani/pedi, I realize I'm in full-blown labor and contractions are 90 seconds - 2 minutes apart. HOLY CRAP. After waiting for my fingernails to dry (of course!), I pick up my phone to call Brad and discover that I have about 97 missed calls from him. Oops! My phone was in my purse on silent and I wasn't answering it because I was having my nails done!
5:10pm: I call Brad and in a labor-induced panic, I practically shout at him again "WHERE ARE YOU!?!? WHY AREN'T YOU HERE YET?!" He's on his way thank goodness - but we realize that no one has called the doctor to let him know we're on the way! Crap. I page the ob and let him know that this baby is coming fast and furious.
5:25pm: Brad picks me up and we drive to Sibley hospital which is in northwest DC - a 40 minute drive from our house! YIKES! Brad doesn't want to take the HOV lanes because he's worried we're not going to make it to the hospital and if he's on HOV, he won't be able to get off if we need to get to a closer hospital. Again, I yell at him - GET ON HOV AND GET ME TO SIBLEY!
Of course we have to drive through Cherry Blossom tourist nonsense - a few tourists dared to try to cross the street in front of us and I informed Brad that under NO circumstances was he stopping to allow pedestrians to cross the road in front of us!
6:05pm: We arrive at the hospital and my contractions are now 30-60 seconds apart and lasting 1-2 minutes. It's hard to tell when one starts and ends. YIKES! I cannot walk. We feel like we're in a sitcom, Brad is the classic father yelling at the registration nurse "My wife is in labor, I need a wheelchair!" He wheels me in and the registration nurse asks if my water has broken (which it hasn't) and tries to get me to sit down in the waiting room to fill out the paperwork. I (not so politely) informed her that I had filled out and faxed in all of my registration forms and insurance information several weeks ago and they should have all of that information on file - and we are going straight upstairs to Labor &; Delivery!!!
6:25pm: I'm in a room, in a hospital gown and they draw my blood to make sure I don't have any infections, etc and I can get an epidurral. It takes 15 minutes for the blood results to come back before I can get an epidurral. Contractions are now 30 seconds apart and I'm already 5cm dilated. I am practically counting the 15 minutes by the seconds, waiting for the results so that they can start the epidural!
6:35pm: My water breaks.
6:42: Bloodwork is back, everything is fine - YAY!!! I'm practically begging for the epidural.
6:50: Anesthesiologist arrives and begins to put in the epidural. I have never been so happy to see a doctor in my life. Unfortunately, I'm now in the final stages of labor (10cm!) and the contractions are running into each other. It's hard to get the epidural in.
7:05: Epidural is in!!! They said it will take 15 minutes to take full effect....again, I'm counting the seconds.
7:15pm: Epidural is BARELY taking effect. Anesthesiologist has turned up the dosage as high as it can go - and it's not really doing much...which apparently is what happens when the epidural is administered at 10cm. Terrific.
7:20pm: Time to push!
7:23pm: OB says, ok, stop pushing - the head is out! I'm stunned and say "REALLY!?!?"
7:25pm: Noah Daniel Geller-Cheney is born!
I call my parents and brother and tell them "he's here!" They all are shocked and say "who's here?" They can't believe that the baby was born so fast. Neither can we! The nurse said to me that in the 8 years she's been delivering babies, my delivery was one of the fastest she's ever seen. She joked that if we have another baby, we might want to get to the hospital sooner. No kidding!
With Sam, I was in labor for 3 days. With Noah, I was in labor for 3 hours! What a whirlwind 3 hours!
We are so grateful for the amazing medical team who delivered Noah. I'll do another blogpost on our stay at Sibley - but for now, I hope that you enjoy reading about Noah's exciting arrival into the world!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sam Turns 2 today!
When I was pregnant with Sam, so many people told me to cherish every day because the time flies by. Boy, were they right! I still can't believe that just 2 short years ago, our world was turned upside down quite abruptly - and what a wild ride it has been.
It's amazing to think about how much he has changed just in the past 12 months. A year ago he was crawling, could only say about 5-10 words and animal sounds, loved to laugh, and was very easygoing. He still loves to laugh, but he only crawls when he is pretending to be a dog. He rarely walks anywhere, he usually runs full steam ahead. He is speaking in 3-4 word sentences and can very clearly tell us what he wants.
Although he's overall a pretty happy little guy, he certainly is not as easygoing as he used to be. He has very strong feelings about things and lets us know when he wants something! Just the other day, he acted like the world was ending because we put him down for a nap without pants on (he had gotten his pants dirty and it was quite warm in his room that day) - apparently he MUST wear pants for naptime, lesson learned!
He is very independent and insists on doing most things himself (I wonder where he gets the independent streak from!). Here's an example of him insisting on carrying his lunchbox to childcare, even though it is big and quite heavy (we pack food in it for several days at a time) and he can barely walk with it - but he is determined to do it himself
He has a terrific sense of humor and loves to joke and tease. Sam has learned how to say "Becca" and "Brad" from hearing us talk to each other in the house. He now loves to scream out our names and laugh. He thinks it is hilarious. For the last 2 months, Sam loves to joke that his name is Neal (here's a January blog post I did about him saying his name is Neal). Neal is his best friend at child care (his birthday is March 22!), the boys LOVE each other and greet each other with huge hugs every day. Although Sam definitely knows his name is Sam, he thinks it is hilarious to say that his name is Neal. We haven't heard him say that his name is Sam for several months now - until recently when Brad was at Costco and a stranger started talking to Sam and asked him what his name was. Amazingly, Sam said his name was Sam - because he knew that the stranger wouldn't understand that saying Neal would be funny because the stranger wouldn't understand the joke. Incredible.
As we prepare for life with a new baby, we are really emphasizing sharing. He has recently learned to say the word "share" but tends to over-generalize its meaning. As a typical 2 year old, he doesn't share very well and when we have playdates with other kids, he routinely tries to take toys from another kid (or another kid tries to take a toy from him) - so we are constantly reminding the kids to share. However, he over-generalizes the concept and thinks that it applies to us at home. For example, the other night he grabbed a sharpie magic marker off the desk (which he's not allowed to play with) and I went to take it away from him - and he starts yelling "No Mommy, it's mine! SHARE!" I was cracking up. every time I try to take something from him b/c he's not allowed to play with it - he starts to carry on about how I need to share with him. All he understands is that he has something and mommy wants to take it from him and mommy isn't sharing. He also loves to taunt the dog with cheese and if she tries to eat the cheese, he yells at her SHAAARE. Too funny!
He is VERY into cars, trucks, trains, buses - basically anything that has wheels. He loves to spin wheels on everything.
He loves to point out planes and helicopters in the sky - even if he can't see the plane, but can hear it - we have to stop and look around for the plane. He is such a boy! He still has very little interest in the baby dolls we gave him, he brought the doll over to his toy work bench the other day which cracked us up. He enjoys cooking in his toy kitchen and spends countless hours pulling our pots and pans out of the cabinet to cook his plastic letters and make alphabet soup.
He loves to sing the ABC song and has begun to identify several letters by sight. We are working on numbers. He knows that he wears 2 socks, 2 shoes, and that he is turning 2! Blue is definitely his favorite color, he likes to say that everything is blue even though he knows the colors black, brown, red, and yellow. After most meals, he insists on being picked up so that he can push the button to turn on the CD player and listen to music. Right now he's obsessed with "Be My Friend" (a song from my mom's program). Check it out:
He mimics everything we do. As you may have seen from earlier blog posts, my heightened sense of smell during the pregnancy has led to some unfortunate vomiting incidents while changing his poopy diapers (see my earlier blog post on one of the Top 5 Worst Mommy Moments). I had a horrific repeat of this just last week, and for several days Sam went to each trash can in the house and pretended that he was vomiting into them. Lovely.
Tonight Brad went grocery shopping with him and let him use one of Giant's "Customer in Training" toy grocery carts. Sam went straight to the bakery and proceeded in loading his cart with cookies, donuts, cupcakes, and even tried to pick up a huge cookie pie. Check out the video:
Because he is my child, he loves to test the limits on everything. One of the rules in our house is that he is not allowed to stand on the brick hearth in front of the fireplace. However, he is allowed to sit on it. He regularly tries to test this rule and see exactly how far he can push the envelope. Can he sit with both feet up on the hearth? Can he sit with one leg up on the hearth? Can he kneel on the hearth? Can he stand on the floor and put one foot up on it? Exactly WHERE is the limit? We work hard to be consistent with the rules because he routinely tries to figure out exactly what the rules are and how far he can push. My parents always hoped that I would have a child who does this - because this is exactly what I did as a child.
He is EXTREMELY social (I know, shocking that Brad and I would have a social kid) and insists on saying hi to everyone, everywhere we go. He doesn't understand when strangers don't respond to his continuous yells of "HI!" and just gets louder and louder yelling "HI" until they acknowledge him and say hi in return. He does this to neighbors who are pulling into their driveway..4 doors down. Kids running on the street, etc. Here's a funny video of him playing with the doorbell on the front stoop of our house, until he noticed our neighbor driving down the street - he had to stop what he was doing to wave to the neighbor in his car.
Sam's big birthday present this year will be a terrific swingset for the backyard. We hope that the boys will enjoy this gift for many years to come. We have spent a LOT of time researching swingsets, preparing the yard, mulch options, drainage issues, etc. This has been quite the project. But we found a fabulous swingset - here's a picture of one that's almost just like ours:
We are excited to celebrate Sam's birthday and will have his official party later in April after the new baby arrives. We strive to cherish every day with our precious little boy and smell the roses. Every day we marvel at the beauty, joy, and laughter that he brings into our lives. We are so blessed to have such a smart, sweet, cuddly, loving, creative, curious, independent, social, and energetic son.
Sam, we love you more than you will ever know. It's hard to remember what our life was like before you came into the world. As much as we try to teach you new things, you have also taught us so much about life, love, family, and about ourselves. Thank you for being the wonderful little boy that you are. We can't wait to see what an amazing big brother you will be and what the next year has in store for you and our family. Happy 2nd birthday Sam!
It's amazing to think about how much he has changed just in the past 12 months. A year ago he was crawling, could only say about 5-10 words and animal sounds, loved to laugh, and was very easygoing. He still loves to laugh, but he only crawls when he is pretending to be a dog. He rarely walks anywhere, he usually runs full steam ahead. He is speaking in 3-4 word sentences and can very clearly tell us what he wants.
Although he's overall a pretty happy little guy, he certainly is not as easygoing as he used to be. He has very strong feelings about things and lets us know when he wants something! Just the other day, he acted like the world was ending because we put him down for a nap without pants on (he had gotten his pants dirty and it was quite warm in his room that day) - apparently he MUST wear pants for naptime, lesson learned!
He is very independent and insists on doing most things himself (I wonder where he gets the independent streak from!). Here's an example of him insisting on carrying his lunchbox to childcare, even though it is big and quite heavy (we pack food in it for several days at a time) and he can barely walk with it - but he is determined to do it himself
He has a terrific sense of humor and loves to joke and tease. Sam has learned how to say "Becca" and "Brad" from hearing us talk to each other in the house. He now loves to scream out our names and laugh. He thinks it is hilarious. For the last 2 months, Sam loves to joke that his name is Neal (here's a January blog post I did about him saying his name is Neal). Neal is his best friend at child care (his birthday is March 22!), the boys LOVE each other and greet each other with huge hugs every day. Although Sam definitely knows his name is Sam, he thinks it is hilarious to say that his name is Neal. We haven't heard him say that his name is Sam for several months now - until recently when Brad was at Costco and a stranger started talking to Sam and asked him what his name was. Amazingly, Sam said his name was Sam - because he knew that the stranger wouldn't understand that saying Neal would be funny because the stranger wouldn't understand the joke. Incredible.
As we prepare for life with a new baby, we are really emphasizing sharing. He has recently learned to say the word "share" but tends to over-generalize its meaning. As a typical 2 year old, he doesn't share very well and when we have playdates with other kids, he routinely tries to take toys from another kid (or another kid tries to take a toy from him) - so we are constantly reminding the kids to share. However, he over-generalizes the concept and thinks that it applies to us at home. For example, the other night he grabbed a sharpie magic marker off the desk (which he's not allowed to play with) and I went to take it away from him - and he starts yelling "No Mommy, it's mine! SHARE!" I was cracking up. every time I try to take something from him b/c he's not allowed to play with it - he starts to carry on about how I need to share with him. All he understands is that he has something and mommy wants to take it from him and mommy isn't sharing. He also loves to taunt the dog with cheese and if she tries to eat the cheese, he yells at her SHAAARE. Too funny!
He is VERY into cars, trucks, trains, buses - basically anything that has wheels. He loves to spin wheels on everything.
 |
| Sam on his motorcycle rocking horse from Uncle Calvin! |
He loves to sing the ABC song and has begun to identify several letters by sight. We are working on numbers. He knows that he wears 2 socks, 2 shoes, and that he is turning 2! Blue is definitely his favorite color, he likes to say that everything is blue even though he knows the colors black, brown, red, and yellow. After most meals, he insists on being picked up so that he can push the button to turn on the CD player and listen to music. Right now he's obsessed with "Be My Friend" (a song from my mom's program). Check it out:
He mimics everything we do. As you may have seen from earlier blog posts, my heightened sense of smell during the pregnancy has led to some unfortunate vomiting incidents while changing his poopy diapers (see my earlier blog post on one of the Top 5 Worst Mommy Moments). I had a horrific repeat of this just last week, and for several days Sam went to each trash can in the house and pretended that he was vomiting into them. Lovely.
Tonight Brad went grocery shopping with him and let him use one of Giant's "Customer in Training" toy grocery carts. Sam went straight to the bakery and proceeded in loading his cart with cookies, donuts, cupcakes, and even tried to pick up a huge cookie pie. Check out the video:
Because he is my child, he loves to test the limits on everything. One of the rules in our house is that he is not allowed to stand on the brick hearth in front of the fireplace. However, he is allowed to sit on it. He regularly tries to test this rule and see exactly how far he can push the envelope. Can he sit with both feet up on the hearth? Can he sit with one leg up on the hearth? Can he kneel on the hearth? Can he stand on the floor and put one foot up on it? Exactly WHERE is the limit? We work hard to be consistent with the rules because he routinely tries to figure out exactly what the rules are and how far he can push. My parents always hoped that I would have a child who does this - because this is exactly what I did as a child.
He is EXTREMELY social (I know, shocking that Brad and I would have a social kid) and insists on saying hi to everyone, everywhere we go. He doesn't understand when strangers don't respond to his continuous yells of "HI!" and just gets louder and louder yelling "HI" until they acknowledge him and say hi in return. He does this to neighbors who are pulling into their driveway..4 doors down. Kids running on the street, etc. Here's a funny video of him playing with the doorbell on the front stoop of our house, until he noticed our neighbor driving down the street - he had to stop what he was doing to wave to the neighbor in his car.
Sam's big birthday present this year will be a terrific swingset for the backyard. We hope that the boys will enjoy this gift for many years to come. We have spent a LOT of time researching swingsets, preparing the yard, mulch options, drainage issues, etc. This has been quite the project. But we found a fabulous swingset - here's a picture of one that's almost just like ours:
We are excited to celebrate Sam's birthday and will have his official party later in April after the new baby arrives. We strive to cherish every day with our precious little boy and smell the roses. Every day we marvel at the beauty, joy, and laughter that he brings into our lives. We are so blessed to have such a smart, sweet, cuddly, loving, creative, curious, independent, social, and energetic son.
Sam, we love you more than you will ever know. It's hard to remember what our life was like before you came into the world. As much as we try to teach you new things, you have also taught us so much about life, love, family, and about ourselves. Thank you for being the wonderful little boy that you are. We can't wait to see what an amazing big brother you will be and what the next year has in store for you and our family. Happy 2nd birthday Sam!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Facing forward in the car seat - finally!
One of the big stories in the news this week (other than Japan, Libya, etc) has been the news from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) clarifying that toddlers should remain in a car seat facing backwards until they are 2 years old. I'm somewhat surprised that this is "major news" because this has been the recommendation of AAP for the past few years. (Here's a link to the story if you're interested)
Brad and I may be relaxed on certain parts of parenting...Sam's bedtime is very fluid, we let Sam drink apple juice (gasp!), and even some sugary desserts at times (double gasp!) etc. However, there are certain things that we've been very strict about - and keeping him facing backwards in the carseat is one of them.
Most of our other mommy/daddy friends are regularly shocked when they see us putting Sam in the carseat facing backwards. Most people turn their kids to facing forward as soon as they are allowed to - usually around 12 months. "Doesn't he get bored?" they ask us. He has never faced forward so how does he know that facing forwards is more "exciting" than backwards?
"Aren't you worried about his legs being squished into the back of the seat?" they ask us. As my pediatrician said, if you got into an accident, would you rather have a child with broken legs (from sitting backwards) vs a broken neck/head (from sitting forwards before the age of 2)? Clearly, a broken head would be worse than broken legs!
Sam turns 2 this week and we JUST turned his car seat facing forward about a week ago. It was a very exciting event in our house! As the car started to pull out of the garage with Sam facing forward, he realized that he actually got to ride like that and yelled out "WHOA!" Here's a picture of his very excited face facing forward for the first time:
He loves facing forward and looking out at the world. His entire perspective on car rides has changed and he looks forward to being in the car. However, I am very proud of our decision to keep him facing backwards for 2 years - especially in light of all the news stories this week about keeping toddlers backwards until 2. Safety first!
Brad and I may be relaxed on certain parts of parenting...Sam's bedtime is very fluid, we let Sam drink apple juice (gasp!), and even some sugary desserts at times (double gasp!) etc. However, there are certain things that we've been very strict about - and keeping him facing backwards in the carseat is one of them.
Most of our other mommy/daddy friends are regularly shocked when they see us putting Sam in the carseat facing backwards. Most people turn their kids to facing forward as soon as they are allowed to - usually around 12 months. "Doesn't he get bored?" they ask us. He has never faced forward so how does he know that facing forwards is more "exciting" than backwards?
"Aren't you worried about his legs being squished into the back of the seat?" they ask us. As my pediatrician said, if you got into an accident, would you rather have a child with broken legs (from sitting backwards) vs a broken neck/head (from sitting forwards before the age of 2)? Clearly, a broken head would be worse than broken legs!
Sam turns 2 this week and we JUST turned his car seat facing forward about a week ago. It was a very exciting event in our house! As the car started to pull out of the garage with Sam facing forward, he realized that he actually got to ride like that and yelled out "WHOA!" Here's a picture of his very excited face facing forward for the first time:
He loves facing forward and looking out at the world. His entire perspective on car rides has changed and he looks forward to being in the car. However, I am very proud of our decision to keep him facing backwards for 2 years - especially in light of all the news stories this week about keeping toddlers backwards until 2. Safety first!
Monday, March 21, 2011
39 weeks!
It's quite surreal and fantastic for me to say that I'm 39 weeks pregnant. According to my last 2 doctor appointments, we are expecting the baby "any day now." They think it it's unlikely we'll go to the due date (March 28th), but who really knows! I have had a pretty bad cold for the past few days and my doctor has strongly urged me to take it easy and get rid of this cold so that I can breathe during labor, which is probably a good idea I suppose!
So my goals for this week are to a) rest and get healthy; b) enjoy the fleeting days of life with only 1 kiddo; and c) celebrate Sam's second birthday on Thursday March 24th (baby boy - can you please NOT arrive on Thursday? Sam doesn't share very well these days, so I'd like to not have to require him to share his birthday. Thanks!).
I am tentatively scheduled to be induced on Tuesday March 29th at 7am if baby boy hasn't made an appearance on his own before then. It feels strange to know that there is a definite end date to all of this - there's a finite amount of time left in the pregnancy!
Baby boy is still quite active and keeping me up at all hours of the night. I am pretty much up every 2-3 hours. If I'm going to be on a newborn's schedule, I might as well have a newborn to feed and take care of, right!?
This past weekend I read Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. Although I certainly don't agree with her take on immunizations/autism - the book was an entertaining quick read. I could definitely relate to some of her "what the hec is going on in my pregnant body" moments.
For example, my ankles no longer exist. Someone has stolen my ankles. They have been replaced with huge swollen sausages. I can't even bear to look at them any more, they're so ridiculous. My wrists are bloated too, I can't wear my favorite tennis bracelet and my rings are officially living in my jewelry box. Brad's dutifully taken on the role of giving me nightly back rubs. Sam is very proficient at picking things up off the floor for me when they drop - he thinks it is a terrific game (although he usually then drops it back on the floor and laughs, picks it up again, drops it and laughs, etc). I almost fainted when I saw my weight gain last week on the scale since my eating habits haven't changed lately - but the nurse assured me that it was just water weight since I've swollen so much over the past week. Let's hope she's right!
Coincidentally, two years ago today, March 21, 2009, was the day my water broke with Sam and I went into the hospital to begin 3 agonizing days of pre-term labor that ended with a beautiful and premature 32 week old baby. As you may have read in my blog post on Sam's 1st birthday about his birth story, it was quite an emotional and scary experience. I feel much more ready this time and know more of what to expect once the baby arrives - although I've never been through this feeling of "will today be the day? will my water break" excitement and wonderment that accompanies the end of a full term pregnancy. It is truly an amazing feeling to be READY for a baby's arrival - quite different than what I experienced with Sam's early birth.
Over the weekend, we actually packed most of our overnight bags for the hospital - which is a big deal for me (see my earlier blog post about my decision to NOT pack a bag yet). Applause please.
I am so grateful to have made it to 39 weeks. Every night when we put Sam to bed, we say the V'havta which is a Jewish prayer said when you go to sleep at night. We chant it together in Hebrew and in English and then we each say a few things that we're thankful for that day. For the last few months, every night I say that I am thankful to still be pregnant and that baby boy is doing well. Although I'm still quite thankful that baby boy is healthy and doing well and that the pregnancy has lasted this long - I'm officially ready to NO LONGER BE PREGNANT! I'll keep you all posted!
So my goals for this week are to a) rest and get healthy; b) enjoy the fleeting days of life with only 1 kiddo; and c) celebrate Sam's second birthday on Thursday March 24th (baby boy - can you please NOT arrive on Thursday? Sam doesn't share very well these days, so I'd like to not have to require him to share his birthday. Thanks!).
I am tentatively scheduled to be induced on Tuesday March 29th at 7am if baby boy hasn't made an appearance on his own before then. It feels strange to know that there is a definite end date to all of this - there's a finite amount of time left in the pregnancy!
Baby boy is still quite active and keeping me up at all hours of the night. I am pretty much up every 2-3 hours. If I'm going to be on a newborn's schedule, I might as well have a newborn to feed and take care of, right!?
This past weekend I read Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. Although I certainly don't agree with her take on immunizations/autism - the book was an entertaining quick read. I could definitely relate to some of her "what the hec is going on in my pregnant body" moments.
For example, my ankles no longer exist. Someone has stolen my ankles. They have been replaced with huge swollen sausages. I can't even bear to look at them any more, they're so ridiculous. My wrists are bloated too, I can't wear my favorite tennis bracelet and my rings are officially living in my jewelry box. Brad's dutifully taken on the role of giving me nightly back rubs. Sam is very proficient at picking things up off the floor for me when they drop - he thinks it is a terrific game (although he usually then drops it back on the floor and laughs, picks it up again, drops it and laughs, etc). I almost fainted when I saw my weight gain last week on the scale since my eating habits haven't changed lately - but the nurse assured me that it was just water weight since I've swollen so much over the past week. Let's hope she's right!
Coincidentally, two years ago today, March 21, 2009, was the day my water broke with Sam and I went into the hospital to begin 3 agonizing days of pre-term labor that ended with a beautiful and premature 32 week old baby. As you may have read in my blog post on Sam's 1st birthday about his birth story, it was quite an emotional and scary experience. I feel much more ready this time and know more of what to expect once the baby arrives - although I've never been through this feeling of "will today be the day? will my water break" excitement and wonderment that accompanies the end of a full term pregnancy. It is truly an amazing feeling to be READY for a baby's arrival - quite different than what I experienced with Sam's early birth.
Over the weekend, we actually packed most of our overnight bags for the hospital - which is a big deal for me (see my earlier blog post about my decision to NOT pack a bag yet). Applause please.
I am so grateful to have made it to 39 weeks. Every night when we put Sam to bed, we say the V'havta which is a Jewish prayer said when you go to sleep at night. We chant it together in Hebrew and in English and then we each say a few things that we're thankful for that day. For the last few months, every night I say that I am thankful to still be pregnant and that baby boy is doing well. Although I'm still quite thankful that baby boy is healthy and doing well and that the pregnancy has lasted this long - I'm officially ready to NO LONGER BE PREGNANT! I'll keep you all posted!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Women of Purim - Comparing the biblical figure of Queen Esther and Bella Abzug, the first Jewish woman elected to the U.S. Congress
Last year our synagogue's rabbi was on sabbatical during the spring, so various members of our congregation were asked to lead Sabbath services and deliver sermons. I led services during the week of Purim, one of my favorite holidays (here's some background on the holiday of Purim if you are not familiar).
My sermon was well received and I thought my blog readers might enjoy reading it as Purim is this weekend. It compares the biblical figure of Queen Esther and Bella Abzug, the first Jewish woman elected to the U.S. Congress. Both women fought for justice and liberation while adopting personas that helped them to achieve their goals. Enjoy!
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Queen Esther and Bella Abzug: Costumes, leadership, and identity
On Purim we dress in costume to create a new persona. We delight in unexpected images. We poke holes in the humdrum everyday roles of men and women, rich and poor, young and old. Our assumptions about people shift, and thus, the holiday transforms us.
People often choose different costumes and personas as a strategic tool to help them stand up against injustice. Today, we will focus on two remarkable Jewish women: The biblical figure, Esther, and the historical figure, Bella Abzug. Both women fought for justice and liberation, adopting personas that helped them to achieve their goals. Bella Abzug tells us how she decided to wear distinctive hats and gloves as a strategy for overcoming the disregard she experienced as a young female attorney fighting for justice.
The times and places with which they are identified had little in common: Persia in the 5th Century BCE and the United States in the 20th Century CE. Bella Abzug was a central figure in the emergence of second wave US feminism, while Esther’s biblical Shushan was a society where women could be legally banished for disobeying their husbands. While Bella’s husband, Martin, did household tasks so his wife could be a successful attorney and member of the U.S. Congress, Esther spent a year beautifying herself in the palace before her one chance to prove herself worthy of being chosen by King Ahasuerus to be his queen.
Still, their narratives have similarities. Both Bella Abzug and Esther were courageous women, involved in high stake political power struggles. Both women took a stand for the Jews. They each faced discrimination towards women. Each of them used their wits in threatening situations. And both women chose an appearance and a persona that helped them to achieve their goals.
What lessons do Esther and Bella Abzug each have to teach us about leadership? How did their dress either hide or reveal their true selves? What messages did their “costumes” send? Let’s look at their stories to answer these questions.
According to the megilla, the biblical Esther hid her true identity. She wore the “mask” of a Gentile when she entered King Ahasuerus’s court. She also took on the appearance of a docile and obedient queen. However, as the Purim story unfolds, Esther’s disguises fall away. She reveals her courage when she risks her life to approach King Ahasuerus. As the Purim story reaches its climax, Esther discloses her Jewish identity, and in doing so she wins the safety of the Jewish people.
Now let’s fast forward approximately 25 centuries to Bella Abzug, who was born in 1920 in the Bronx. Abzug contested society’s expectations for women in order to battle for justice directly and publicly. Her appearance, manner, and words all communicated a message of liberation. She refused to hide her strength, intelligence, love of life, and fury.
When Bella Abzug was a young attorney, people often ignored and dismissed her, mistaking her for a secretary. When she went to represent her law firm anywhere, she said, “How do you do? I’m Bella Abzug from the law firm of such and such,” and people would say, “Yes, fine, fine, sit down.” So she’d wait and nothing much would happen, so finally she’d clear my throat and say, “I’m Bella Abzug from the law firm of such and such,” and they’d say, “Yes, we know, but we’re waiting.” she’d say, “What are we waiting for?” And they’d say, “We’re waiting for the lawyer.” They thought she was the secretary. She realized that she had this identity crisis.
She went home and discussed it with her husband, Martin. In those days professional women wore hats—and gloves, so she put on gloves and a hat. And every time she went anywhere for business, with the hat and gloves, they knew she was there for business.
By the time Abzug became a prominent political figure in the 1970s, a hat no longer symbolized the professional role which she had sought to represent. By then, her flamboyant hats had become a singular emblem that symbolized her bold, valiant, and indefatigable spirit. Thus, her costume allowed her to be seen as the truly powerful woman she was.
Abzug began to challenge societal expectations of women early in her life. Abzug treasured her Jewish upbringing. As a girl she regularly went to synagogue with her grandfather and memorized the prayers. Abzug was influenced by the Jewish values her father exemplified, of loving peace and offering respect to everyone. But when her father died when she was twelve, Bella defied tradition to say Kaddish for him every day for a year in the Orthodox synagogue in which she was raised. From her Jewish upbringing, Abzug derived both a belief in justice and a commitment to seeing that no one should be excluded from its benefits and responsibilities.
From childhood, Abzug aspired to become an attorney. When she was rejected from Harvard Law School, because it didn’t admit women, she went to Columbia University’s law school on a scholarship at a time when few lawyers were women.
Abzug took vocal and visible stands on the issues of civil rights, the environment, women’s rights, nuclear weapons, the Vietnam War and gay rights. She was one of the few attorneys willing to fight against the House Un-American Activities Committee during the McCarthy era. In 1950, Abzug risked her life in Mississippi to plead for clemency in a rape trial against a black man. Pregnant and alone, she spent the night locked in a bathroom in a bus station to avoid the Ku Klux Klan. She famously declared "This woman’s place is in the House—the House of Representatives" in her successful 1970 campaign to join that body when she became the first Jewish woman in the United States Congress. I actually had a bumper sticker with this quote on the door of my freshman dorm room in college.
Abzug also fought for the Jewish people. She called for freedom for Soviet Jewry and supported aid to Israel. She led the fight to condemn the UN General Assembly’s 1975 resolution which equated Zionism with racism.
Both biblical Esther and Bella Abzug consciously chose images that could help them win important battles. What lessons do they have to teach us? How do women today hide their identities in order to fight for justice? When does our dress become a message of freedom and when does it distract people from hearing important messages? How do women of today alter their appearance to conform to society’s image of beauty? These are some questions that Purim and these two inspiring women pose to us today. Shabbat shalom.
My sermon was well received and I thought my blog readers might enjoy reading it as Purim is this weekend. It compares the biblical figure of Queen Esther and Bella Abzug, the first Jewish woman elected to the U.S. Congress. Both women fought for justice and liberation while adopting personas that helped them to achieve their goals. Enjoy!
------------------
Queen Esther and Bella Abzug: Costumes, leadership, and identity
On Purim we dress in costume to create a new persona. We delight in unexpected images. We poke holes in the humdrum everyday roles of men and women, rich and poor, young and old. Our assumptions about people shift, and thus, the holiday transforms us.
People often choose different costumes and personas as a strategic tool to help them stand up against injustice. Today, we will focus on two remarkable Jewish women: The biblical figure, Esther, and the historical figure, Bella Abzug. Both women fought for justice and liberation, adopting personas that helped them to achieve their goals. Bella Abzug tells us how she decided to wear distinctive hats and gloves as a strategy for overcoming the disregard she experienced as a young female attorney fighting for justice.
The times and places with which they are identified had little in common: Persia in the 5th Century BCE and the United States in the 20th Century CE. Bella Abzug was a central figure in the emergence of second wave US feminism, while Esther’s biblical Shushan was a society where women could be legally banished for disobeying their husbands. While Bella’s husband, Martin, did household tasks so his wife could be a successful attorney and member of the U.S. Congress, Esther spent a year beautifying herself in the palace before her one chance to prove herself worthy of being chosen by King Ahasuerus to be his queen.
Still, their narratives have similarities. Both Bella Abzug and Esther were courageous women, involved in high stake political power struggles. Both women took a stand for the Jews. They each faced discrimination towards women. Each of them used their wits in threatening situations. And both women chose an appearance and a persona that helped them to achieve their goals.
What lessons do Esther and Bella Abzug each have to teach us about leadership? How did their dress either hide or reveal their true selves? What messages did their “costumes” send? Let’s look at their stories to answer these questions.
According to the megilla, the biblical Esther hid her true identity. She wore the “mask” of a Gentile when she entered King Ahasuerus’s court. She also took on the appearance of a docile and obedient queen. However, as the Purim story unfolds, Esther’s disguises fall away. She reveals her courage when she risks her life to approach King Ahasuerus. As the Purim story reaches its climax, Esther discloses her Jewish identity, and in doing so she wins the safety of the Jewish people.
Now let’s fast forward approximately 25 centuries to Bella Abzug, who was born in 1920 in the Bronx. Abzug contested society’s expectations for women in order to battle for justice directly and publicly. Her appearance, manner, and words all communicated a message of liberation. She refused to hide her strength, intelligence, love of life, and fury.
When Bella Abzug was a young attorney, people often ignored and dismissed her, mistaking her for a secretary. When she went to represent her law firm anywhere, she said, “How do you do? I’m Bella Abzug from the law firm of such and such,” and people would say, “Yes, fine, fine, sit down.” So she’d wait and nothing much would happen, so finally she’d clear my throat and say, “I’m Bella Abzug from the law firm of such and such,” and they’d say, “Yes, we know, but we’re waiting.” she’d say, “What are we waiting for?” And they’d say, “We’re waiting for the lawyer.” They thought she was the secretary. She realized that she had this identity crisis.
She went home and discussed it with her husband, Martin. In those days professional women wore hats—and gloves, so she put on gloves and a hat. And every time she went anywhere for business, with the hat and gloves, they knew she was there for business.
By the time Abzug became a prominent political figure in the 1970s, a hat no longer symbolized the professional role which she had sought to represent. By then, her flamboyant hats had become a singular emblem that symbolized her bold, valiant, and indefatigable spirit. Thus, her costume allowed her to be seen as the truly powerful woman she was.
Abzug began to challenge societal expectations of women early in her life. Abzug treasured her Jewish upbringing. As a girl she regularly went to synagogue with her grandfather and memorized the prayers. Abzug was influenced by the Jewish values her father exemplified, of loving peace and offering respect to everyone. But when her father died when she was twelve, Bella defied tradition to say Kaddish for him every day for a year in the Orthodox synagogue in which she was raised. From her Jewish upbringing, Abzug derived both a belief in justice and a commitment to seeing that no one should be excluded from its benefits and responsibilities.
From childhood, Abzug aspired to become an attorney. When she was rejected from Harvard Law School, because it didn’t admit women, she went to Columbia University’s law school on a scholarship at a time when few lawyers were women.
Abzug took vocal and visible stands on the issues of civil rights, the environment, women’s rights, nuclear weapons, the Vietnam War and gay rights. She was one of the few attorneys willing to fight against the House Un-American Activities Committee during the McCarthy era. In 1950, Abzug risked her life in Mississippi to plead for clemency in a rape trial against a black man. Pregnant and alone, she spent the night locked in a bathroom in a bus station to avoid the Ku Klux Klan. She famously declared "This woman’s place is in the House—the House of Representatives" in her successful 1970 campaign to join that body when she became the first Jewish woman in the United States Congress. I actually had a bumper sticker with this quote on the door of my freshman dorm room in college.
Abzug also fought for the Jewish people. She called for freedom for Soviet Jewry and supported aid to Israel. She led the fight to condemn the UN General Assembly’s 1975 resolution which equated Zionism with racism.
Both biblical Esther and Bella Abzug consciously chose images that could help them win important battles. What lessons do they have to teach us? How do women today hide their identities in order to fight for justice? When does our dress become a message of freedom and when does it distract people from hearing important messages? How do women of today alter their appearance to conform to society’s image of beauty? These are some questions that Purim and these two inspiring women pose to us today. Shabbat shalom.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
10 things I've learned since I became a Mom
I literally know 35+ women who are currently pregnant, many of whom are pregnant with their first. Since I'm the first of many of my friends to have a baby, they frequently have turned to me for advice which I'm happy to share. As I prepare for my second baby, I took a few minutes to think about some of the most practical, useful things I've learned since I became a mom. Here's my top 10 list, although I'm sure I left things off the list - so if you have things to add, jump in and leave your thoughts!
10. NEVER wake a sleeping baby. Every time I woke a sleeping baby (or toddler), I regretted it!
9. Only buy white socks. I bought many different colors/patterns of cute socks with Sam and we inevitably lost 1 sock from about 90% of these pairs - making the remaining sock completely useless. Babies and toddlers love to take their socks off and throw them places (or even hide them). White (or one color) socks are the way to go!
8. Invest in batteries. Costco (my favorite store on the planet) has great prices on batteries. EVERY children's toy lights up, makes noise, vibrates, shakes, etc - and they all require 27 batteries each. Before we had Sam, we never used batteries for anything. Now, we go through a ton of batteries, it's ridiculous.
7. Dogs are invaluable with toddlers. Our dog Lucy has many many roles in our house. She is the vacuum cleaner and regularly eats all of the food that Sam graciously throws to the ground under his highchair. She is the entertainer - we regularly use her to distract him from getting into something. She is the calmer - Sam can be crying hysterically and miserable, but lights up as soon as he sees the dog. Dogs are WONDERFUL (even though Lucy isn't overly in love with Sam...as you may have read in my previous post about Life with Lucy the Dog).
6. Moms help other Moms. I can't even count the number of times I've been out somewhere with Sam and another Mom is in need of a wipe, diaper, band-aid, snack, etc. I have frequently given wipes and other such items to complete strangers. And there have been times when I have needed something for Sam, and another Mom opens up her diaper bag to me as well. Moms must stick together! The best advice I've received about raising my child has been from other moms - there are so many things you can't learn from reading a book. When Sam was born, I was so unsure of how tight his diaper needed to be, how to cut his nails, etc - but other moms showed me what to do and taught me some invaluable lessons.
5. Expect the unexpected. Toddlers are most likely to spill something, break something, poop, or throw a tantrum in the 30 seconds right before you are about to get in the car to go somewhere and will cause you to be late. Here's a classic example from one of my Top 5 Worst Mommy Moments
4. Once you figure something out, your child will change and you have to learn something new. The first child can be such a challenge because you really have no idea what you're doing and once you begin to figure it out, it changes. For example, it takes months to really perfect the skill of nursing - and as soon as you establish a good nursing routine, you have to start to introduce baby food. It then takes a while for your baby to get the hang of eating pureed carrots from a spoon, but once he figures it out - BAM, let's introduce finger food. Ok, we got the hang of finger food, we're in a good groove - BAM, start weaning them off the bottle and off baby food so he's only eating table food. It goes on and on and on...
3. You will never sleep the same way you did before you had kids. I LOVE sleeping. Before Sam, we would sleep until 10 or 11am on the weekends and sometimes even take naps in the afternoon. I was an incredibly heavy sleeper and sometimes slept through my alarm. My best advice to pregnant friends is to SLEEP as much as they can! Now, I can't sleep past 8am even if I'm away on vacation without Sam. I never understood the idea of an "internal alarm clock" but now I do. I can't even tell you the last time I set my alarm clock - I don't even use it any more. Sam is always up between 630-7am, occasionally he sleeps as late as 730am. We recently began to turn the monitor off at night, but I still wake up constantly thinking that I heard him crying. I HATE that I've become such a light sleeper. It sucks. Sam has slept through the night since he was 4 months old, he's a terrific sleeper - but my sleep may never be the same again. I am still in denial that we are about to begin the sleepless nights of life with a newborn again.
2. You know your child better than anyone else, always listen to the voice inside your head. People love to give unsolicited advice about everything. I'll never forget the woman in a store who criticized me for dressing Sam in two unmatching socks (see number 9 above). Or the woman who saw me giving Sam a bottle and said "you know, breast is best" (to which I responded, well, good thing this is breastmilk in the bottle - and hello, do I know you?). I always appreciate helpful advice from friends, but at the end of the day, I remember that I know my child better than anyone. I know when to ask for help and have learned that when in doubt about a medical condition, it is better to err on the safeside and take him to the doctor. The worst thing that can happen is that the doctor tells me that everything is fine - I'd much rather that than something bad happening to my child (here's my horror story from Sam's ER visit and 4 day stay in the hospital in July 2010 from a virus)
1. There is no sweeter sound than hearing your child say "Mommy." Being a mom is probably the hardest thing I've ever done - and also the most wonderful. It is challenging and exhausting. It is also rewarding, gratifying, and heart-warming. I always knew that you loved your kids, but I never knew that you also fell in love with them.
10. NEVER wake a sleeping baby. Every time I woke a sleeping baby (or toddler), I regretted it!
9. Only buy white socks. I bought many different colors/patterns of cute socks with Sam and we inevitably lost 1 sock from about 90% of these pairs - making the remaining sock completely useless. Babies and toddlers love to take their socks off and throw them places (or even hide them). White (or one color) socks are the way to go!
8. Invest in batteries. Costco (my favorite store on the planet) has great prices on batteries. EVERY children's toy lights up, makes noise, vibrates, shakes, etc - and they all require 27 batteries each. Before we had Sam, we never used batteries for anything. Now, we go through a ton of batteries, it's ridiculous.
7. Dogs are invaluable with toddlers. Our dog Lucy has many many roles in our house. She is the vacuum cleaner and regularly eats all of the food that Sam graciously throws to the ground under his highchair. She is the entertainer - we regularly use her to distract him from getting into something. She is the calmer - Sam can be crying hysterically and miserable, but lights up as soon as he sees the dog. Dogs are WONDERFUL (even though Lucy isn't overly in love with Sam...as you may have read in my previous post about Life with Lucy the Dog).
6. Moms help other Moms. I can't even count the number of times I've been out somewhere with Sam and another Mom is in need of a wipe, diaper, band-aid, snack, etc. I have frequently given wipes and other such items to complete strangers. And there have been times when I have needed something for Sam, and another Mom opens up her diaper bag to me as well. Moms must stick together! The best advice I've received about raising my child has been from other moms - there are so many things you can't learn from reading a book. When Sam was born, I was so unsure of how tight his diaper needed to be, how to cut his nails, etc - but other moms showed me what to do and taught me some invaluable lessons.
5. Expect the unexpected. Toddlers are most likely to spill something, break something, poop, or throw a tantrum in the 30 seconds right before you are about to get in the car to go somewhere and will cause you to be late. Here's a classic example from one of my Top 5 Worst Mommy Moments
4. Once you figure something out, your child will change and you have to learn something new. The first child can be such a challenge because you really have no idea what you're doing and once you begin to figure it out, it changes. For example, it takes months to really perfect the skill of nursing - and as soon as you establish a good nursing routine, you have to start to introduce baby food. It then takes a while for your baby to get the hang of eating pureed carrots from a spoon, but once he figures it out - BAM, let's introduce finger food. Ok, we got the hang of finger food, we're in a good groove - BAM, start weaning them off the bottle and off baby food so he's only eating table food. It goes on and on and on...
3. You will never sleep the same way you did before you had kids. I LOVE sleeping. Before Sam, we would sleep until 10 or 11am on the weekends and sometimes even take naps in the afternoon. I was an incredibly heavy sleeper and sometimes slept through my alarm. My best advice to pregnant friends is to SLEEP as much as they can! Now, I can't sleep past 8am even if I'm away on vacation without Sam. I never understood the idea of an "internal alarm clock" but now I do. I can't even tell you the last time I set my alarm clock - I don't even use it any more. Sam is always up between 630-7am, occasionally he sleeps as late as 730am. We recently began to turn the monitor off at night, but I still wake up constantly thinking that I heard him crying. I HATE that I've become such a light sleeper. It sucks. Sam has slept through the night since he was 4 months old, he's a terrific sleeper - but my sleep may never be the same again. I am still in denial that we are about to begin the sleepless nights of life with a newborn again.
2. You know your child better than anyone else, always listen to the voice inside your head. People love to give unsolicited advice about everything. I'll never forget the woman in a store who criticized me for dressing Sam in two unmatching socks (see number 9 above). Or the woman who saw me giving Sam a bottle and said "you know, breast is best" (to which I responded, well, good thing this is breastmilk in the bottle - and hello, do I know you?). I always appreciate helpful advice from friends, but at the end of the day, I remember that I know my child better than anyone. I know when to ask for help and have learned that when in doubt about a medical condition, it is better to err on the safeside and take him to the doctor. The worst thing that can happen is that the doctor tells me that everything is fine - I'd much rather that than something bad happening to my child (here's my horror story from Sam's ER visit and 4 day stay in the hospital in July 2010 from a virus)
1. There is no sweeter sound than hearing your child say "Mommy." Being a mom is probably the hardest thing I've ever done - and also the most wonderful. It is challenging and exhausting. It is also rewarding, gratifying, and heart-warming. I always knew that you loved your kids, but I never knew that you also fell in love with them.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Pregnant at 38 weeks!
First let me say that I still can't believe that I've made it this far. A friend recently said to me, "Congrats on reaching full term - I imagine that means much more to you than most women." This is so so true.
However, I'm quickly learning that the end of 3rd trimester is not so much fun. Overall I'm feeling ok but my blood pressure numbers continue to be a roller coaster. I have to take my bp twice/day on my home bp machine. Sam is very interested in the bp machine and watches me intently when I take my bp. The other day, completely on his own, he put the blood pressure cuff on his own arm (perfectly!) and started the machine to take his own blood pressure. How smart is he!
My ankles and wrists are swollen - I can't even wear my favorite tennis bracelet that Brad gave me a few years ago. My rings are becoming tight on my fingres. I feel huge and have officially reached the "waddling" stage of pregnancy.
When I drop something on the ground, I really have to think twice about how badly I need that item before I decide whether or not to pick it up. Thankfully, Sam loves to pick things up for me (one of the benefits of having a toddler around during pregnancy!).
Baby boy is extremely active and keeps me up at all hours of the night. Unfortunately, my sleep has been terrible recently. I generally sleep from about 1130pm - 3am, I'm up from 3-530am and then sleep again until about 7am. I think that my body is preparing for the 3 hour feeding schedule once the baby arrives and is helping me get ready for the sleep deprivation, perhaps if I feel sleep deprived now, it won't be so bad once the baby arrives??? Argh. It's loads of fun. Thank GOODNESS for tivo! And I'm discovering that there are some terrific shows on late at night. Who knew that there are reruns of Family Ties & Doogie Howser on tv at 4am, I love it!
My eating habits continue to be odd and I still LOVE Taco Bell (I have no idea why). I'm also in love with Chef Boyardee ravioli, poptarts, pizza, and Cadbury eggs. I try my best to eat healthy, but sometimes YO QUIERO TACO BELL! Thankfully, my obsession with pears has lasted throughout the entire pregnancy and I regularly eat 2 pears/day.
Braxton Hicks contractions are here in full force, sometimes as frequent as occuring every 5 minutes for 90 minutes. Just as I begin to wonder if they are more than Braxton Hicks, they go away. I recently got a Verizon iPhone (which I LOVE!) and installed a "Contraction Timer" app which has been amazingly helpful in tracking the contractions. Whew, just had to stop writing this blog because of a contraction.
The contractions are apparently quite productive. As of March 10th, I was dilated 2cm and 80% effaced. We still have no idea when the baby will arrive, but the doctor seemed to think it would be within the next week or so - he said that he would be "very surprised" if I was still pregnant in 2 weeks. They're still discussing induction but no decision has been made yet. Who knows.
I don't know why, but as soon as the doctor's appointment ended last week - I burst into tears and sobbed to Brad. Yes, the waterworks are here too. The other night I watched Brad read a story to Sam before bedtime and was overwhelmed by emotion at the sweet sight of watching them - and the tears began to stream down my face. Both Brad and Sam were like "What is wrong???"
We're trying to prepare Sam for the baby but he really has no idea that his world is about to be turned upside down. We have several big brother books and he points to my belly and says "baby", but he also points to his belly and says "baby" so I'm not so sure how much he understands. We bought him a gift that we'll bring home from the hospital for Sam as a gift "from the baby." I'm a little nervous about the transition - any suggestions are welcome!
No, I still have not packed a bag (see my blog post about intentionally procrastinating on packing the overnight bag). But, I'm feeling more and more ready - although I don't know if you are ever fully ready for a new baby. I'm just taking things 1 day at a time, it's pretty exciting to know that things could change at a moment's notice! I will certainly keep you all posted!
However, I'm quickly learning that the end of 3rd trimester is not so much fun. Overall I'm feeling ok but my blood pressure numbers continue to be a roller coaster. I have to take my bp twice/day on my home bp machine. Sam is very interested in the bp machine and watches me intently when I take my bp. The other day, completely on his own, he put the blood pressure cuff on his own arm (perfectly!) and started the machine to take his own blood pressure. How smart is he!
My ankles and wrists are swollen - I can't even wear my favorite tennis bracelet that Brad gave me a few years ago. My rings are becoming tight on my fingres. I feel huge and have officially reached the "waddling" stage of pregnancy.
When I drop something on the ground, I really have to think twice about how badly I need that item before I decide whether or not to pick it up. Thankfully, Sam loves to pick things up for me (one of the benefits of having a toddler around during pregnancy!).
Baby boy is extremely active and keeps me up at all hours of the night. Unfortunately, my sleep has been terrible recently. I generally sleep from about 1130pm - 3am, I'm up from 3-530am and then sleep again until about 7am. I think that my body is preparing for the 3 hour feeding schedule once the baby arrives and is helping me get ready for the sleep deprivation, perhaps if I feel sleep deprived now, it won't be so bad once the baby arrives??? Argh. It's loads of fun. Thank GOODNESS for tivo! And I'm discovering that there are some terrific shows on late at night. Who knew that there are reruns of Family Ties & Doogie Howser on tv at 4am, I love it!
My eating habits continue to be odd and I still LOVE Taco Bell (I have no idea why). I'm also in love with Chef Boyardee ravioli, poptarts, pizza, and Cadbury eggs. I try my best to eat healthy, but sometimes YO QUIERO TACO BELL! Thankfully, my obsession with pears has lasted throughout the entire pregnancy and I regularly eat 2 pears/day.
Braxton Hicks contractions are here in full force, sometimes as frequent as occuring every 5 minutes for 90 minutes. Just as I begin to wonder if they are more than Braxton Hicks, they go away. I recently got a Verizon iPhone (which I LOVE!) and installed a "Contraction Timer" app which has been amazingly helpful in tracking the contractions. Whew, just had to stop writing this blog because of a contraction.
The contractions are apparently quite productive. As of March 10th, I was dilated 2cm and 80% effaced. We still have no idea when the baby will arrive, but the doctor seemed to think it would be within the next week or so - he said that he would be "very surprised" if I was still pregnant in 2 weeks. They're still discussing induction but no decision has been made yet. Who knows.
I don't know why, but as soon as the doctor's appointment ended last week - I burst into tears and sobbed to Brad. Yes, the waterworks are here too. The other night I watched Brad read a story to Sam before bedtime and was overwhelmed by emotion at the sweet sight of watching them - and the tears began to stream down my face. Both Brad and Sam were like "What is wrong???"
We're trying to prepare Sam for the baby but he really has no idea that his world is about to be turned upside down. We have several big brother books and he points to my belly and says "baby", but he also points to his belly and says "baby" so I'm not so sure how much he understands. We bought him a gift that we'll bring home from the hospital for Sam as a gift "from the baby." I'm a little nervous about the transition - any suggestions are welcome!
No, I still have not packed a bag (see my blog post about intentionally procrastinating on packing the overnight bag). But, I'm feeling more and more ready - although I don't know if you are ever fully ready for a new baby. I'm just taking things 1 day at a time, it's pretty exciting to know that things could change at a moment's notice! I will certainly keep you all posted!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Nesting & Procrastinating
I like making lists. When I feel stressed, I make a list of all the things I need to get done and get tremendous satisfaction from checking things off of lists. I learned this from my mom who is the queen of lists. She even makes "lists of her lists" to keep everything straight. Brad and I now use google docs so that we can share our lists and keep them for future use (packing lists, thank you card lists, holiday card lists, etc). Yes I am a list dork.
So, it should not be much of a surprise that I created a "things to do before the baby arrives" list. I'm not big on cleaning or decorating, so this list has been my form of nesting. I also broke down the list by tasks for Brad and tasks for me to do.
For weeks we have worked to cross things off our list, such as:
However, one item remains mysteriously un-checked - "Pack overnight bag for the hospital."
This seems like the easiest thing on the list and probably one of the most important, right? WRONG. I don't know why, but I have consciously procrastinated on packing the overnight bag. I just continue refusing to do it. Brad even pulled out my travel suitcase and put it in our bedroom. The suitcase has been a wonderful toy for Sam to roll around in our room, but it remains empty.
I went to CVS to buy some things that I would need at the hospital. The items remain in the plastic bags untouched - although they have made their way upstairs and are on the floor next to the suitcase. This is progress!
I do NOT want to pack this bag. I am actively avoiding it. I feel like the moment I pack the bag, I will go into labor immediately. Even though the baby is now full-term, I'm just not ready. Are you ever truly ready??? Physically, we are ready and have everything in order. But I'm not ready. I still can't imagine driving my car with two little boys in the back seat!
As much as I'm excited for the new baby to arrive (and to no longer be HUGE and 9 months pregnant), I feel some sadness that my time with Sam as my only child is coming to an end. He is at such a sweet stage right now (despite the occasional outburst of being in the terrible two phase) and I want to cherish every day with him before my attention will be split between him and the baby.
So, my way of dealing with this is quite simple - I am NOT packing the overnight bag. Yes, I know this logic is completely irrational and makes no sense whatsoever. Especially as I am now dilated 2 cm and 80% effaced. I know that the baby is coming and I'm excited to meet him. But, I'm just not packing a bag...yet. I will continue with my parade of packing procrastination as long as possible. If you see pictures of me in the hospital wearing the same clothes in every picture, you'll know why - it is because I have refused to pack a bag!
So, it should not be much of a surprise that I created a "things to do before the baby arrives" list. I'm not big on cleaning or decorating, so this list has been my form of nesting. I also broke down the list by tasks for Brad and tasks for me to do.
For weeks we have worked to cross things off our list, such as:
- Complete pre-registration form for Sibley hospital and fax it in? Check.
- Prepare my brother to be our person to call in the middle of the night to come watch Sam when we need to go to the hospital? Check.
- Find and wash ALL of the baby items? Check.
- Finish writing thank you cards from the shower? Check.
- Draft a list of emails for the birth announcement email? Check.
- Organize and file taxes? Check.
- Contact the mohel and rabbi about the bris? Check.
- Make Costco list of food items for bris? Check.
- Create an evite for the bris? Check.
However, one item remains mysteriously un-checked - "Pack overnight bag for the hospital."
This seems like the easiest thing on the list and probably one of the most important, right? WRONG. I don't know why, but I have consciously procrastinated on packing the overnight bag. I just continue refusing to do it. Brad even pulled out my travel suitcase and put it in our bedroom. The suitcase has been a wonderful toy for Sam to roll around in our room, but it remains empty.
I went to CVS to buy some things that I would need at the hospital. The items remain in the plastic bags untouched - although they have made their way upstairs and are on the floor next to the suitcase. This is progress!
I do NOT want to pack this bag. I am actively avoiding it. I feel like the moment I pack the bag, I will go into labor immediately. Even though the baby is now full-term, I'm just not ready. Are you ever truly ready??? Physically, we are ready and have everything in order. But I'm not ready. I still can't imagine driving my car with two little boys in the back seat!
As much as I'm excited for the new baby to arrive (and to no longer be HUGE and 9 months pregnant), I feel some sadness that my time with Sam as my only child is coming to an end. He is at such a sweet stage right now (despite the occasional outburst of being in the terrible two phase) and I want to cherish every day with him before my attention will be split between him and the baby.
So, my way of dealing with this is quite simple - I am NOT packing the overnight bag. Yes, I know this logic is completely irrational and makes no sense whatsoever. Especially as I am now dilated 2 cm and 80% effaced. I know that the baby is coming and I'm excited to meet him. But, I'm just not packing a bag...yet. I will continue with my parade of packing procrastination as long as possible. If you see pictures of me in the hospital wearing the same clothes in every picture, you'll know why - it is because I have refused to pack a bag!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Letter to Baby Boy #2
As we prepare for life with two little boys, I wanted to take a minute to reflect on my hopes and prayers for baby boy #2. As much as pregnancy can have its downsides, a pregnant woman also develops an incredible connection to her child in utero. I'm so excited to meet him and jotted down some thoughts in a letter I wrote to him:
Dear Baby Boy,
We can't wait to meet you in just a matter of days! Your room is ready for your arrival and you have already received so many beautiful gifts from our family and friends. Your daddy and I are so grateful that you have patiently awaited your entry into the world and you are now full-term!
I pray that your birth will be uncomplicated and that we you will arrive healthy with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
I pray that your big brother Sam will be one of the first people you meet and your first friend. My relationship with your uncle D is one of the most important relationships in my life, and I hope that you and Sam will develop a very close bond over the years to come.
I pray that you know and feel how very much you are loved and cherished in our home. We are so blessed to bring you into a very wide circle of friends, neighbors, and relatives who provide incredible support in our lives. There may be times when you don't want to talk to me or your dad about something, but I hope that you always remember how many adults are in your life who will be here to help you and support you - and listen to you.
I pray that your dad and I are able to raise you in a way that helps you appreciate how much you have and we can instill in you a desire to give back to your community. I pray that you understand how very fortunate you are to never go to bed hungry and that you will want to help those around you because so many people in the world don't have what you have.
I pray that you grow up to be curious and inquisitive. I hope that you share my yearning for travel and learning about other cultures and other people. I hope that you learn new things about the world and about other people every day - and through those experiences, you will learn new things about yourself.
I pray that you don't always get what you want and that you will fall down at times. Although your dad and I enjoy many successes in our lives, both personally and professionally, we have both failed at things too. We have learned extraordinary lessons when we have not gotten what we wanted or when things didn't work out as we had hoped. If you shoot for the moon and miss, you will still be among the stars.
I pray that when you do fall down, that you will have the resilience and support to help you get back up again. I hope that you will reach out and let people help you in your times of need - because so many people love you and want to help you.
I pray that you find a spiritual and religious community to guide you and help you find meaning in your life.
I pray that you find joy in every day activities - whether it is playing with our wonderful dog Lucy, playing on a swingset, or swimming in a pool, I hope that you laugh every day of your life. Your brother Sam truly has a zest for life and laughter, I hope that he will share that joy with you and teach you to enjoy life with the same excitement that he does.
I pray that you find love and someone to share your life with. Your dad and I work hard to create a home in which you and Sam can understand the beauty and challenges of marriage.
I pray that you are interested in and passionate about many things throughout your life. I pray that you find activities, hobbies, or sport that you enjoy. Daddy and I hope to expose you to as many things as we can - nature, theater, ethnic food, traveling the world, music, sports, community service, social action, religion, and of course, politics!
I pray that you enjoy reading and learning. I hope that you are inquisitive and ask questions about everything. Reading introduces you to the world - whether you are reading books, magazines, the news, blogs, etc - I hope that you enjoy reading and learning. Your brother Sam loves reading books and looks forward to sharing with you some of his favorite stories.
I pray that you enjoy good health throughout your life. I know that you will have your fair share of colds, viruses, and other illnesses - but I hope that those are only temporary moments in your life. Your dad and I will strive to create a healthy environment full of fresh air, healthy food, and plenty of exercise (just ask your brother Sam who RUNS everywhere).
I pray that you know that Daddy and I will always be here for you when you need us - and we will also be here even when you don't want us around. I pray that you will be independent and self-sufficient (probably more so than I might like!). I know that this will probably cause fights down the road, but Daddy and I love you so very very much and will always work hard to look out for your best interests (even when you may disagree!).
We can't wait to meet you and shower you with all the love in the world! We look forward to hugging and kissing you, snuggling, cuddling, smelling your sweet baby smell, not sleeping (well maybe we're not looking forward to that part quite as much), and introducing you to your brother Sam.
Until then sweet boy who loves to have a dance party in my belly at all hours of the night!
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
Dear Baby Boy,
We can't wait to meet you in just a matter of days! Your room is ready for your arrival and you have already received so many beautiful gifts from our family and friends. Your daddy and I are so grateful that you have patiently awaited your entry into the world and you are now full-term!
I pray that your birth will be uncomplicated and that we you will arrive healthy with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
I pray that your big brother Sam will be one of the first people you meet and your first friend. My relationship with your uncle D is one of the most important relationships in my life, and I hope that you and Sam will develop a very close bond over the years to come.
I pray that you know and feel how very much you are loved and cherished in our home. We are so blessed to bring you into a very wide circle of friends, neighbors, and relatives who provide incredible support in our lives. There may be times when you don't want to talk to me or your dad about something, but I hope that you always remember how many adults are in your life who will be here to help you and support you - and listen to you.
I pray that your dad and I are able to raise you in a way that helps you appreciate how much you have and we can instill in you a desire to give back to your community. I pray that you understand how very fortunate you are to never go to bed hungry and that you will want to help those around you because so many people in the world don't have what you have.
I pray that you grow up to be curious and inquisitive. I hope that you share my yearning for travel and learning about other cultures and other people. I hope that you learn new things about the world and about other people every day - and through those experiences, you will learn new things about yourself.
I pray that you don't always get what you want and that you will fall down at times. Although your dad and I enjoy many successes in our lives, both personally and professionally, we have both failed at things too. We have learned extraordinary lessons when we have not gotten what we wanted or when things didn't work out as we had hoped. If you shoot for the moon and miss, you will still be among the stars.
I pray that when you do fall down, that you will have the resilience and support to help you get back up again. I hope that you will reach out and let people help you in your times of need - because so many people love you and want to help you.
I pray that you find a spiritual and religious community to guide you and help you find meaning in your life.
I pray that you find joy in every day activities - whether it is playing with our wonderful dog Lucy, playing on a swingset, or swimming in a pool, I hope that you laugh every day of your life. Your brother Sam truly has a zest for life and laughter, I hope that he will share that joy with you and teach you to enjoy life with the same excitement that he does.
I pray that you find love and someone to share your life with. Your dad and I work hard to create a home in which you and Sam can understand the beauty and challenges of marriage.
I pray that you are interested in and passionate about many things throughout your life. I pray that you find activities, hobbies, or sport that you enjoy. Daddy and I hope to expose you to as many things as we can - nature, theater, ethnic food, traveling the world, music, sports, community service, social action, religion, and of course, politics!
I pray that you enjoy reading and learning. I hope that you are inquisitive and ask questions about everything. Reading introduces you to the world - whether you are reading books, magazines, the news, blogs, etc - I hope that you enjoy reading and learning. Your brother Sam loves reading books and looks forward to sharing with you some of his favorite stories.
I pray that you enjoy good health throughout your life. I know that you will have your fair share of colds, viruses, and other illnesses - but I hope that those are only temporary moments in your life. Your dad and I will strive to create a healthy environment full of fresh air, healthy food, and plenty of exercise (just ask your brother Sam who RUNS everywhere).
I pray that you know that Daddy and I will always be here for you when you need us - and we will also be here even when you don't want us around. I pray that you will be independent and self-sufficient (probably more so than I might like!). I know that this will probably cause fights down the road, but Daddy and I love you so very very much and will always work hard to look out for your best interests (even when you may disagree!).
We can't wait to meet you and shower you with all the love in the world! We look forward to hugging and kissing you, snuggling, cuddling, smelling your sweet baby smell, not sleeping (well maybe we're not looking forward to that part quite as much), and introducing you to your brother Sam.
Until then sweet boy who loves to have a dance party in my belly at all hours of the night!
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
March 1 = Achieving My Own Personal Goal
It's no secret that this pregnancy has had some challenges. I've been on modified bedrest since January 7th. Since Sam was born at 32 weeks, getting past 32 weeks was HUGE for me (see my blog at 32 weeks in this pregnancy).
Throughout all of my pregnancies, I've worked hard to "keep my eyes on the prize." One of my good friends shared some invaluable advice with me. When you first find out you're pregnant, it can be hard to imagine the due date becuase 40 weeks is a very long time! She told me that she found it helpful to just focus on getting through to the next doctor's appointment.
First you focus on getting to the first ultrasound (for me, it was 6 weeks), then 8 weeks, then 12 weeks, etc. I've had a LOT of doctor's appointments so I've had a lot of short-term goals that have helped to break down the stress and keep me focused on something very close in time. I've had least 3 doctors appointments/month since 12 weeks and I've been going 1x/week since 28 weeks. Rather than focusing on my March 28 due date, I find it incredibly helpful to just focus on getting through to the next doctor's appointment.
When I say "getting through" - this is my way of coping with the stress and worries that can cloud one's mind during pregnancy. Fears about miscarriage during the 1st trimester. Concerns about the baby growing and developing normally. Worries about the baby arriving early during 3rd trimester.
But throughout ALL of this, I've had one big overall goal. Here's what I wrote in a blog several months ago: "My goal is to make it to at least March 1, at which point I will be 36 weeks along. Although my due date is not until March 28, I will be very very happy if baby boy #2 is born anytime during March."
I am SO proud to say that today is March 1 and as of yesterday I was 36 weeks along! Monday March 7 will mark 37 weeks which will officially be full-term! As much I am usually an optimist, I honestly never thought I'd make it this far in the pregnancy - I feel very very happy and proud today. :)
The baby is doing well, he is about 5 and 1/2 pounds and very very active. He has given me quite the digestive challenges (can you say HEARTBURN 24/7!?!), but I appreciate that I can regularly feel him kicking/punching up a storm. Over the next few weeks we expect him to gain about 1 oz/day (which is about 1/2 pound/week).
Here's the most recent ultrasound picture:
HURRAY for reaching my own personal goal of making it to March. WOO HOO!
Throughout all of my pregnancies, I've worked hard to "keep my eyes on the prize." One of my good friends shared some invaluable advice with me. When you first find out you're pregnant, it can be hard to imagine the due date becuase 40 weeks is a very long time! She told me that she found it helpful to just focus on getting through to the next doctor's appointment.
First you focus on getting to the first ultrasound (for me, it was 6 weeks), then 8 weeks, then 12 weeks, etc. I've had a LOT of doctor's appointments so I've had a lot of short-term goals that have helped to break down the stress and keep me focused on something very close in time. I've had least 3 doctors appointments/month since 12 weeks and I've been going 1x/week since 28 weeks. Rather than focusing on my March 28 due date, I find it incredibly helpful to just focus on getting through to the next doctor's appointment.
When I say "getting through" - this is my way of coping with the stress and worries that can cloud one's mind during pregnancy. Fears about miscarriage during the 1st trimester. Concerns about the baby growing and developing normally. Worries about the baby arriving early during 3rd trimester.
But throughout ALL of this, I've had one big overall goal. Here's what I wrote in a blog several months ago: "My goal is to make it to at least March 1, at which point I will be 36 weeks along. Although my due date is not until March 28, I will be very very happy if baby boy #2 is born anytime during March."
I am SO proud to say that today is March 1 and as of yesterday I was 36 weeks along! Monday March 7 will mark 37 weeks which will officially be full-term! As much I am usually an optimist, I honestly never thought I'd make it this far in the pregnancy - I feel very very happy and proud today. :)
The baby is doing well, he is about 5 and 1/2 pounds and very very active. He has given me quite the digestive challenges (can you say HEARTBURN 24/7!?!), but I appreciate that I can regularly feel him kicking/punching up a storm. Over the next few weeks we expect him to gain about 1 oz/day (which is about 1/2 pound/week).
Here's the most recent ultrasound picture:
HURRAY for reaching my own personal goal of making it to March. WOO HOO!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sam at 23 months
As Sam's 2nd birthday quickly approaches (March 24), it is apparent that the terrible twos have arrived in full force but Sam's sweetness and zest for life continues. He has a lot of energy and loves to read books, laugh, jump, and explore. He rarely walks anywhere - he usually runs full steam ahead.
Some of his new words include: mine (his new favorite word), black, brown, white, yellow, red, chocolate, keys, bath, cow, play-doh, puppy, bird, plane, duck, quack, whoa, wow, butter, bread, milk, juice, Costco (our favorite store), silly, bath, car, train, etc. After speaking for over a year, he has FINALLY learned to say the word YES! Woo hoo!
He's really starting to put together 3-5 words into a sentence and is very interested in possession of things. For example, he'll try on my shoes and say "This is mommy's shoe" or getting into the car he'll say "this is daddy's car" or "this is doggie's ear." He is also quite proficient in telling us what he wants - like "I want to see Pa" - when he wants to skype with my parents, etc. He is VERY interested in cars and spends hours playing with matchbox cars.
He has recently become interested in the difference between dogs and puppies. He has a black lab puppy stuffed animal that he calls his puppy and drags it all over the house and cuddles with it in bed. Our neighbor recently got a new puppy that weighs 2 pounds and brought the puppy over to meet Sam. He was very gentle with the puppy at first, until they decided to let him try holding the puppy - which he promptly dropped onto the grass. Here are a few pics:
He is getting more interested in drawing and less interest in putting crayons/paint/chalk into his mouth. We've taken advantage of some recently warm sunny days and began playing with sidewalk chalk:
Our quest to encourage him to gain more weight continues. We go back to the doctor regularly for weight checks and he continues to lose small amounts of weight, about 2 oz/month. This is not a significant amount of weight to lose, but he should be gaining weight - not losing weight. He's about 90th percentile for height and 10th percentile for weight. Because he has so much energy and is such an active kid, we're not overly concerned but we work to increase high-fat foods into his diet.
His favorite food is butter - and there are certainly nights when all he'll eat for dinner is butter (gross). He also loves Costco's pretzel nuggets stuffed with peanut butter, whole milk yogurt, chicken nuggets, deli turkey, tangerines (his most recent obsession), veggie pancakes, Triscuits, soy hot dogs, granola bars, goldfish, Life cereal, raisins, carrot muffins, turkey bacon, soy sausage, and legumes.
We joke that he is becoming vegetarian - he'll eat any sort of legume, the other night he ate 1/2 a can of black eyed peas for dinner. He loves lima beans, black beans, kidney beans, chick peas, lentils, etc. He also loves string cheese and asks for cheese all day long (which we don't give him all day long). We have unsuccessfully searched grocery stores for high fat string cheese/cheese sticks. The stores look at us like we're crazy asking for high fat string cheese - they're like, um, no, most of ours is low fat. If anyone has suggestions as to where we can buy whole milk string cheese/cheese sticks, PLEASE let me know!
And he of course has a sweet tooth, like his mommy. He recently learned the word chocolate and asks for chocolate at all hours of the day. The other morning he ate a carrot muffin for breakfast and then asked for chocolate at 730am (which he did not get). One a recent warm 70 degree February day, our 8 year old neighbor Kelly gave him his first popsicle which he loved:
He also loves cupcakes and enjoyed them at his friend Eli's birthday party:
His sense of humor continues to astound us and he loves to laugh and laugh. Here are a few recent videos of him playing and laughing:
Sam takes corn-popping very seriously!
He loves to dance and sing. His favorite songs with hand motions now include "Head Shoulders Knees & Toes" (he now knows all of his body parts), Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, If You're Happy & You Know It, Itsy Bitsy Spider, 1-2 Buckle My Shoe 3-4 Shut The Door, and the ABCs.
He watches 1 television show which we love on PBS called Super Why. He has really learned some letters and the ABCs from this show, we love it (and does Sam!). He recently was quite sick with roseola and we had a scary few days when his fever spiked up to 105.2. It's a horrible feeling to pick up a crying child in the morning and his skin felt like it was on fire. Thank GOODNESS for children's advil! We watched a LOT of Super Why during those few days when we just tried to keep liquids in him and keep him comfortable. The illness came on so suddenly and went away just as fast. It's amazing how quickly toddlers can bounce back!
The dog decided to help with the stress level in our house by eating an entire sock and vomiting it all over the down comforter on the bed. Brad brought the comforter to the dry cleaner's and on the way there realized his brakes were having a problem so his car had to go into the shop. It was a really fun few days (not).
But, thankfully he is fully recovered and back to his usual playful, active, silly, cuddly personality. Calling himself Neal continues to be one of his favorite jokes (as you may remember from this earlier blog post). But when strangers ask him what his name is, he clearly says "Sam" - yet when we ask him,
he loves to joke and say "NEAL." Silly boy.
We know that the next month will bring about many changes in Sam's life, so we are working hard to cherish every day with him as our "only child" and actively thinking of ways to help him transition into his role as a big brother. Can't believe that he will be 2 so soon!
Some of his new words include: mine (his new favorite word), black, brown, white, yellow, red, chocolate, keys, bath, cow, play-doh, puppy, bird, plane, duck, quack, whoa, wow, butter, bread, milk, juice, Costco (our favorite store), silly, bath, car, train, etc. After speaking for over a year, he has FINALLY learned to say the word YES! Woo hoo!
He's really starting to put together 3-5 words into a sentence and is very interested in possession of things. For example, he'll try on my shoes and say "This is mommy's shoe" or getting into the car he'll say "this is daddy's car" or "this is doggie's ear." He is also quite proficient in telling us what he wants - like "I want to see Pa" - when he wants to skype with my parents, etc. He is VERY interested in cars and spends hours playing with matchbox cars.
He has recently become interested in the difference between dogs and puppies. He has a black lab puppy stuffed animal that he calls his puppy and drags it all over the house and cuddles with it in bed. Our neighbor recently got a new puppy that weighs 2 pounds and brought the puppy over to meet Sam. He was very gentle with the puppy at first, until they decided to let him try holding the puppy - which he promptly dropped onto the grass. Here are a few pics:
He is getting more interested in drawing and less interest in putting crayons/paint/chalk into his mouth. We've taken advantage of some recently warm sunny days and began playing with sidewalk chalk:
Our quest to encourage him to gain more weight continues. We go back to the doctor regularly for weight checks and he continues to lose small amounts of weight, about 2 oz/month. This is not a significant amount of weight to lose, but he should be gaining weight - not losing weight. He's about 90th percentile for height and 10th percentile for weight. Because he has so much energy and is such an active kid, we're not overly concerned but we work to increase high-fat foods into his diet.
His favorite food is butter - and there are certainly nights when all he'll eat for dinner is butter (gross). He also loves Costco's pretzel nuggets stuffed with peanut butter, whole milk yogurt, chicken nuggets, deli turkey, tangerines (his most recent obsession), veggie pancakes, Triscuits, soy hot dogs, granola bars, goldfish, Life cereal, raisins, carrot muffins, turkey bacon, soy sausage, and legumes.
We joke that he is becoming vegetarian - he'll eat any sort of legume, the other night he ate 1/2 a can of black eyed peas for dinner. He loves lima beans, black beans, kidney beans, chick peas, lentils, etc. He also loves string cheese and asks for cheese all day long (which we don't give him all day long). We have unsuccessfully searched grocery stores for high fat string cheese/cheese sticks. The stores look at us like we're crazy asking for high fat string cheese - they're like, um, no, most of ours is low fat. If anyone has suggestions as to where we can buy whole milk string cheese/cheese sticks, PLEASE let me know!
And he of course has a sweet tooth, like his mommy. He recently learned the word chocolate and asks for chocolate at all hours of the day. The other morning he ate a carrot muffin for breakfast and then asked for chocolate at 730am (which he did not get). One a recent warm 70 degree February day, our 8 year old neighbor Kelly gave him his first popsicle which he loved:
He also loves cupcakes and enjoyed them at his friend Eli's birthday party:
 |
| Eating chocolate cake with friends = happy boy |
Our least favorite new word that Sam has learned is MINE. In classic 2 year old fashion, he thinks that everything is his. My friends and family recently threw a wonderful baby shower for me (since Sam was born the weekend the shower was supposed to have been when I was pregnant with him). My cousin Heather is a renowned cupcake maker and Sam was obsessed with her cupcakes. He had part of a cupcake and then saw the rest of the cupcakes on a table, but he couldn't reach them. He ran across the room and dragged a very heavy wooden kitchen chair across the entire room to climb up on the chair to reach the cupcakes - so we gave him 1/2 of another cupcake, we figured such perseverence should be rewarded. When it was time for Heather to leave, she packed up some cupcakes in a tupperware to bring to her co-workers. Sam was saying his goodbyes and then noticed the cupcakes in the tupperware. He practically threw himself at her, screaming "MINE MINE MINE MINE" trying to go after the cupcakes! He did not get more cucpakes this time.
He also is obsessed with my iphone (so is Brad...and so am I) and is quite proficient at figuring out the apps!
We are very excited that the weather is warming up so we can spend more time outside. With my modified bedrest, I'm allowed to go out a couple times a week on short outings if my blood pressure isn't too high, as long as I stay off my feet. I've learned which parks have benches for me to sit on while I watch him. There are many many parks nearby and he loves going down the slide, climbing, swinging, running, and jumping. Here's a recent picture of him throwing bread to birds at Burke Lake Park.
His sense of humor continues to astound us and he loves to laugh and laugh. Here are a few recent videos of him playing and laughing:
Sam takes corn-popping very seriously!
He loves to dance and sing. His favorite songs with hand motions now include "Head Shoulders Knees & Toes" (he now knows all of his body parts), Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, If You're Happy & You Know It, Itsy Bitsy Spider, 1-2 Buckle My Shoe 3-4 Shut The Door, and the ABCs.
He watches 1 television show which we love on PBS called Super Why. He has really learned some letters and the ABCs from this show, we love it (and does Sam!). He recently was quite sick with roseola and we had a scary few days when his fever spiked up to 105.2. It's a horrible feeling to pick up a crying child in the morning and his skin felt like it was on fire. Thank GOODNESS for children's advil! We watched a LOT of Super Why during those few days when we just tried to keep liquids in him and keep him comfortable. The illness came on so suddenly and went away just as fast. It's amazing how quickly toddlers can bounce back!
The dog decided to help with the stress level in our house by eating an entire sock and vomiting it all over the down comforter on the bed. Brad brought the comforter to the dry cleaner's and on the way there realized his brakes were having a problem so his car had to go into the shop. It was a really fun few days (not).
But, thankfully he is fully recovered and back to his usual playful, active, silly, cuddly personality. Calling himself Neal continues to be one of his favorite jokes (as you may remember from this earlier blog post). But when strangers ask him what his name is, he clearly says "Sam" - yet when we ask him,
he loves to joke and say "NEAL." Silly boy.
We know that the next month will bring about many changes in Sam's life, so we are working hard to cherish every day with him as our "only child" and actively thinking of ways to help him transition into his role as a big brother. Can't believe that he will be 2 so soon!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Birth Plans
A lot of my mommy friends have asked me over the past few months about my birth plan. With both Sam and this pregnancy, I've given a lot of thought to the idea of birth plans and how I feel about birth plans.
I have many friends who have developed very elaborate birth plans that spread the gamet - at-home births in a bed or in water, at a birthing center with a midwife, giving birth in a hospital with a doula without any pain medication, giving birth in a hospital with an epidural, a planned c-section, etc. For some of my friends, the actual process of giving birth to their children is one of the most important experiences in their lives. They want to experience and remember every aspect of this amazing journey and the miracle of life. They physically write very specific birth plans in great detail.
As most of you know, I'm a planner and like to plan things in detail well in advance - which is why I am as surprised as anyone that when it comes to birthing my children, I have not adopted the birth plan mentality. Let me be clear - I am NOT knocking anyone's birth plan or birth choices. It is a very personal decision and if my friends are happy, I am happy for them.
I trust my obstetrician immensely and truly credit him for helping to bring Sam into this world and enabling him to be the healthy, intelligent, and amazing child he is - despite his early arrival at 32 weeks. I have done tons of research about epidurals and have concluded that I am perfectly comfortable with the decision to have an epidural. I had an epidural with Sam and do not regret that decision at all.
My doctor has said that he will do whatever I want - pain meds or no pain meds; vaginal delivery or c-section, etc. Although I do not want to have a c-section and have no plan on having a c-section, I am open to the idea if it is medically necessary. I'd prefer to not have a c-section since the recovery time is signficantly worse, but if there's anything I've learned as a mom - it is to expect the unexpected.
When I was pregnant with Sam, we first discussed the idea of a birth plan with my ob. He said that I should keep in mind that once the hospital reads on my registration form that I'm a lawyer that they will want to follow the birth plan to a T - which I thought was hilarious.
I am at the stage in my life when an inordinate number of my friends are pregnant. Seriously, I think I currently know between 30-40 women who are pregnant right now. I am intrigued by their various birth plans and have been amazed to discover that there is no pattern among my friends. I would have originally thought that my liberal crunchy friends would be the only ones having at-home births with a midwife, but alas, I have conservative friends who have made this choice too. The decision has nothing to do with one's politics, religion, education, career, etc. Most of my friends who have chosen to have children without pain medication are very passionate about their birth choice and birth plan. My sister-in-law is a midwife and one of the most passionate people I have ever met about birthing babies.
I've tried to wrap my head around the birth plan idea and have finally concluded that it's just not something I'm passionate about. I have strong feelings and am passionate about many things. I am passionate about politics, campaigns, elections, and being a Democrat. I am passionate about Israel and Judaism. I am passionate about equality for women and reproductive rights. I am passionate about community service, social action, and giving back. I am passionate about my family and friends. I am passionate about enjoying every day with Sam and bringing joy and happiness to his life. I am passionate about travelling and exploring other cultures (I've been to 30+ countries). I am passionate about food. I am passionate about being outside (in warm, sunny weather!) and truly believe that sunshine (while wearing sunscreen) nourishes my soul.
But there are some things that I'm just not passionate about - and the process of actually birthing my child is one of them. I am passionate about being a mom and am incredibly excited to meet my new little boy and love him and raise him - I'm just not that excited about the actual birthing process. I've gone through the childbirth education class and even watched a video of an actual birth to try to better grasp the wonder behind childbirth. But for me, I still feel that the birthing process is a means to an end - a means of me bringing a life into the world and having another amazing little boy. My birth experience with Sam was quite unusual due to his early arrival, but the nurses and doctors did everything possible to make it as much of a positive experience as possible given the circumstances.
My birth plan is more of a mindset than an actual plan. My husband, doctor, and I have discussed what we hope for, but are fully aware of the fact that things may change during the labor - and that's ok. Our priority is to make sure that baby boy #2 is healthy and that's all I need from my birth plan.
In a way, it is almost freeing to decide that it is ok to NOT have a detailed birth plan. The one thing I plan to change from my birth with Sam is to bring some pictures of Glacier National Park to look at as focus points during labor. My ob has a picture of Glacier National Park, Montana taped to the ceiling of his exam room directly above the exam table - so when patients are laying on their backs during the exam, they can look at the picture and relax.
This Glacier Park picture has taken on significant meaning to me over the years and I relax by imagining myself sitting on the edge of the lake with my toes dangling in the water, staring out at the gorgeous snow-capped mountains, tossing stones into the water, feeling the warm sun on my face, and the gentle breeze blowing my hair. I imagine the sounds of the water lapping at the shore, fish jumping out of the water, the wind rustling the leaves, and squirrels running in the woods. I imagine peace, quiet, and serenity at this lake.
I have never been to Glacier National Park. I am not even a "lake person" (although Brad is), hands down I prefer the ocean and beach as a vacation rather than a lake. But, I've come to associate pictures the scenic pictures of Glacier National Park with relaxation during a medical procedure. So, here are a few of the pictures I plan to print and bring with me for the birth of baby boy #2.
So, there you have it - this is my birth plan! We will be positive, flexible, relaxed, and determined to have a healthy baby boy.
I have many friends who have developed very elaborate birth plans that spread the gamet - at-home births in a bed or in water, at a birthing center with a midwife, giving birth in a hospital with a doula without any pain medication, giving birth in a hospital with an epidural, a planned c-section, etc. For some of my friends, the actual process of giving birth to their children is one of the most important experiences in their lives. They want to experience and remember every aspect of this amazing journey and the miracle of life. They physically write very specific birth plans in great detail.
As most of you know, I'm a planner and like to plan things in detail well in advance - which is why I am as surprised as anyone that when it comes to birthing my children, I have not adopted the birth plan mentality. Let me be clear - I am NOT knocking anyone's birth plan or birth choices. It is a very personal decision and if my friends are happy, I am happy for them.
I trust my obstetrician immensely and truly credit him for helping to bring Sam into this world and enabling him to be the healthy, intelligent, and amazing child he is - despite his early arrival at 32 weeks. I have done tons of research about epidurals and have concluded that I am perfectly comfortable with the decision to have an epidural. I had an epidural with Sam and do not regret that decision at all.
My doctor has said that he will do whatever I want - pain meds or no pain meds; vaginal delivery or c-section, etc. Although I do not want to have a c-section and have no plan on having a c-section, I am open to the idea if it is medically necessary. I'd prefer to not have a c-section since the recovery time is signficantly worse, but if there's anything I've learned as a mom - it is to expect the unexpected.
When I was pregnant with Sam, we first discussed the idea of a birth plan with my ob. He said that I should keep in mind that once the hospital reads on my registration form that I'm a lawyer that they will want to follow the birth plan to a T - which I thought was hilarious.
I am at the stage in my life when an inordinate number of my friends are pregnant. Seriously, I think I currently know between 30-40 women who are pregnant right now. I am intrigued by their various birth plans and have been amazed to discover that there is no pattern among my friends. I would have originally thought that my liberal crunchy friends would be the only ones having at-home births with a midwife, but alas, I have conservative friends who have made this choice too. The decision has nothing to do with one's politics, religion, education, career, etc. Most of my friends who have chosen to have children without pain medication are very passionate about their birth choice and birth plan. My sister-in-law is a midwife and one of the most passionate people I have ever met about birthing babies.
I've tried to wrap my head around the birth plan idea and have finally concluded that it's just not something I'm passionate about. I have strong feelings and am passionate about many things. I am passionate about politics, campaigns, elections, and being a Democrat. I am passionate about Israel and Judaism. I am passionate about equality for women and reproductive rights. I am passionate about community service, social action, and giving back. I am passionate about my family and friends. I am passionate about enjoying every day with Sam and bringing joy and happiness to his life. I am passionate about travelling and exploring other cultures (I've been to 30+ countries). I am passionate about food. I am passionate about being outside (in warm, sunny weather!) and truly believe that sunshine (while wearing sunscreen) nourishes my soul.
But there are some things that I'm just not passionate about - and the process of actually birthing my child is one of them. I am passionate about being a mom and am incredibly excited to meet my new little boy and love him and raise him - I'm just not that excited about the actual birthing process. I've gone through the childbirth education class and even watched a video of an actual birth to try to better grasp the wonder behind childbirth. But for me, I still feel that the birthing process is a means to an end - a means of me bringing a life into the world and having another amazing little boy. My birth experience with Sam was quite unusual due to his early arrival, but the nurses and doctors did everything possible to make it as much of a positive experience as possible given the circumstances.
My birth plan is more of a mindset than an actual plan. My husband, doctor, and I have discussed what we hope for, but are fully aware of the fact that things may change during the labor - and that's ok. Our priority is to make sure that baby boy #2 is healthy and that's all I need from my birth plan.
In a way, it is almost freeing to decide that it is ok to NOT have a detailed birth plan. The one thing I plan to change from my birth with Sam is to bring some pictures of Glacier National Park to look at as focus points during labor. My ob has a picture of Glacier National Park, Montana taped to the ceiling of his exam room directly above the exam table - so when patients are laying on their backs during the exam, they can look at the picture and relax.
This Glacier Park picture has taken on significant meaning to me over the years and I relax by imagining myself sitting on the edge of the lake with my toes dangling in the water, staring out at the gorgeous snow-capped mountains, tossing stones into the water, feeling the warm sun on my face, and the gentle breeze blowing my hair. I imagine the sounds of the water lapping at the shore, fish jumping out of the water, the wind rustling the leaves, and squirrels running in the woods. I imagine peace, quiet, and serenity at this lake.
I have never been to Glacier National Park. I am not even a "lake person" (although Brad is), hands down I prefer the ocean and beach as a vacation rather than a lake. But, I've come to associate pictures the scenic pictures of Glacier National Park with relaxation during a medical procedure. So, here are a few of the pictures I plan to print and bring with me for the birth of baby boy #2.
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