Today marks the beginning of the third (and final!) trimester of my pregnancy with baby boy #2. Woo hoo, 28 weeks! As most people in my life know, Sam was born 2 months early at 32 weeks. Over and over again, people have asked me things like "will they put you on bedrest given your history with Sam?" or "are the doctors doing anything differently with this pregnancy to prevent pre-term labor again?" or "are you worried about having a baby early again?" or "do they know what caused the pre-term labor?" or "are you considered high-risk?"
For starters, YES, I am worried about having this baby early again. Having Sam at 32 weeks and spending 3 weeks in the NICU was pretty traumatic to say the least. It drives me bonkers that they have no idea what caused his early arrival. My pregnancy with Sam was completely normal without any problems. I had even seen my obstetrician 3 days before I went into labor and everything was fine. After I had Sam, they ran many tests to see if they could figure out what happened - but everything was inconclusive. Their best guess is that there was a weakness in the membrane that ruptured, but they don't know if it was specific to that membrane with that pregnancy or if it will be repeated in future pregnancies. I HATE this answer. I hate not knowing what caused it.
My ob has been sending me to a maternal fetal specialist for high resolution ultrasounds every 2 weeks, plus my regular ob appointments (I spend a lot of time at the dr office). When I was pregnant with Sam I only had two high resolution ultrasounds - one at 12 weeks when they did the nuchal fold test and one at 20 weeks to check the anatomy (and where we found out the sex!). Going every 2 weeks is a LOT of high resolution ultrasounds (3D type). They had several guesses as to what may have caused the pre-term labor with Sam and have monitored me for all of those potential scenarios. But, none of them have materialized. This either means that A) whatever happened with Sam is not occurring in this pregnancy or B) they have no idea what caused it with Sam and it could recur with this one.
The lack of answers is very hard for me to accept and come to terms with. I plan for everything in my life and it's hard for me to wrap my head around the unknown. I am not considered a "high risk pregnancy" because everything is progressing normally - they just want to try to catch anything in case something should arise given my history. So far there's no reason to think I'll need to be on bedrest...I can't imagine what it would be like to be on bedrest with a very active toddler in the house.
The one big change I've made with this pregnancy is to really take it easy more than I did before. Although my doctor swears up and down that my busy lifestyle did not cause the pre-term labor with Sam, he has said that I need to listen to my body. If I'm feeling tired or my back hurts, that's my body telling me to take it easy - and I need to rest. Part of me will always wonder if there's something I could have done to prevent Sam's early arrival (ie, slow down). So, starting third trimester (today!), I'm really going to slow down and take it easy. I will rest when I'm tired (as much as Sam will allow me to!), try to get some sleep (as much as my growing belly will allow!), and try not to stress too much (as much as my worrisome mind will allow!). This is not the easiest goal for me to achieve - I have a very hard time "taking it easy." But I'm certainly going to try!
I'm now into the viability stage which is equally relieving and terrifying. I know that a premature baby born at 32 weeks can grow into a totally normal child - and am constantly reminded of that with Sam who is ahead on most milestones. But, I cannot imagine enduring another NICU experience. I know that we are so blessed to have so so many friends and relatives who are here to help with everything should we have to go through that again - but my heart breaks to imagine another NICU stay. The day I got discharged from the hospital and had to go home without my baby was one of the most emotional and agonizing days of my life and definitely not something I want to repeat.
I know some women who absolutely love being pregnant and relish every moment of it. I am not one of those women. I am excited about the baby who will join our family and the wonderful changes our life has in store with another son. I enjoy his active kicking in my belly (he has had quite a bout of hiccups this weekend, which Sam never had). However, I have worried continuously throughout this pregnancy. I was petrified of miscarriage during first trimester (I had a miscarriage before I was pregnant with Sam). I was able to relax some during second trimester, but as viability approached (24-25 wks), my nerves have taken over once again and I have a hard time trying to ignore my anxiety about pre-term labor.
Right now I just try to keep my eyes on the prize. I feel like if i can make it to 35-36 weeks, I will have "made it." A friend recently had a baby at 40 weeks and asked me if I had a lot of back pain the last few weeks...it was hard for me to answer her by saying, "i don't know, I never got that far in my pregnancy."
Thank you in advance for everyone who has helped me throughout this pregnancy with support, encouragement, and excitement. It hasn't been the easiest of pregnancies (see Top 5 Worst Mommy Moments which has continued to occur throughout the pregnancy, as recently as last week...it's miserable). I've had some challenging blood pressure issues (my blood pressure has been crazy crazy LOW and I regularly see a cardiologist to try to regulate my blood pressure to prevent me from the dizziness, fainting episodes), and I've been severely anemic. Oh the joys!
But, these are all just things I've had to deal with - the baby is doing amazingly well. He weighs about 2.5 pounds which places him right at the 50th percentile for this stage in the pregnancy. He has now turned and is head down which is good too! Let's just hope he stays in there for another few months. I aim to make it to March - any point in March would be ok with me (my due date is March 28).
Here's to hoping for a long long third trimester of pregnancy!
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